Mercedes-Benz

Mercedes-Benz

Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz? No? OK, well in that case find some money and buy one yourself. Despite a (dare we say) typically German tendency towards dreadful bad taste, the line-up here features some of the most impressive cars on this or several other planets. Plus Stonehenge residuals. You can't really lose.

  • Mercedes-Benz A-Class

    A-Class

    £13,320 - £22,350

    A hatch doing a passable impression of a small MPV, partly thanks to ‘sandwich flooring’ which makes for brilliant packaging. Old stability issues now sorted.

  • Mercedes-Benz B-Class

    B-Class

    £16,940 - £24,240

    Merc has spotted a gap in the market so narrow you'd struggle to get a fag paper through it. A slightly bigger hatch-cum-MPV that's a bit sporty? Making any sense?

  • Mercedes C63 AMG

    C63 AMG

    Rocket-propelled M3-seeking missile packing more junk than an aircraft carrier but without the stealth. A nut you say? Right, pass me that sledgehammer.

  • Mercedes C-Class

    C-Class

    £19,125 - £51,650

    While this is around, the 3-Series can't have things its own way. And this is the best C-Class yet - loves the road like Jordan loves Peter (but doesn't make you feel sick).

  • Mercedes-Benz CL-Class

    CL-Class

    £78,689 - £149,161

    Probably the only thing that could look more over-the-top than the S-class - a coupe version of the same. Just the two doors, but folk this gauche don't have many friends

  • Mercedes-Benz CLS-Class

    CLS-Class

    £42,625 - £73,080

    Continuing the random use of the letter C for cars based on Cs, Es and Ss, here’s a swoopy four-door E-class coupe. Park it over there with the other new niches.

  • Mercedes E63 AMG

    E63 AMG

    What happens when Merc pinches the M5 bottle and then exceeds the stated dose.Viciously quick V8-fed torque show.A very big bushel hiding a really dazzly light.

  • Mercedes-Benz E-Class

    E-Class

    £25,591 - £68,855

    Latest version of the E has been facelifted now, but the tale of the tape is similar to before. A lovely, relaxing motor, but doesn't drive as well as the BMW 5-Series.

  • Mercedes-Benz GL-Class

    GL-Class

    £51,471 - £67,966

    At least bolted together properly these days, but still a too-butch-by-half attempt to take the pointy star into a field. Footy wives - and daft snobs generally - like them.

  • Mercedes-Benz M-Class

    M-Class

    £35,250 - £76,430

    At least bolted together properly these days, but still a too-butch-by-half attempt to take the pointy star into a field. Footy wives - and daft snobs generally - like them

  • Mercedes-Benz R-Class

    R-Class

    £35,283 - £73,300

    Another letter, another niche that doesn't exist. What have we got here - a luxo-six-seater 4x4 MPV thing that looks like it's been crushed by a truck? Sadly, it hasn't.

  • Mercedes-Benz S-Class

    S-Class

    £53,879 - £149,071

    It's a true world domination machine. Dr Evil uses one when being driven between underground lairs. He thinks a Maybach is too silly to be believed. And he's right.

  • Mercedes-Benz SL63

    SL 63

    We like your thinking, Merc: if you're going to hash up the good looks of the SL and turn it all big and angry, you might as well give it a big and angry V8. Sterling work.

  • Mercedes-Benz SL-Class

    SL-Class

    £59,146 - £248,486

    Imperious German in removable tin hat. Effortless but a bit new money. ‘S'cuse me squire but I couldn't help noticing that I am considerably richer than you.' Etc.

  • Mercedes-Benz SLK

    SLK

    £27,940 - £50,675

    Less cringeworthy than the bigger SL. Rear-drive fun and a brilliant folding tin top, plus a kind of hairdryer arrangement to keep you warm when topless. As it were.

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