Top Gear’s Range Rover Evoque vs Scotland
Sick of being told he drives a girl’s car, Top Gear magazine’s Tom Ford took his Range Rover Evoque to a place with no roads...
Posted: 04 Dec 2012
The sun stutters on and off for the next couple of hours, interspersed with literal lashings of ice-cold rain. And the ‘trail' starts to fade into vagueness somewhere around Carn a' Chlamain. The Evoque gradually requires more and more urging, until, finally, it slides up on a small raised section underneath the front bumper, the wheels fizz once, and we're well and truly stuck, beached on our own bottom. "You should have just used a little more feeling over that one," sighs Roger with just an edge of disappointment. Yanked neatly out by William and the V8, we're soon off again and faced with a similar, muddier section. In an attempt to please Roger, I attack it with a bit more feeling. The Evoque yomps across the section, bouncing and banging and splashing thick, chocolatey mud everywhere, until I emerge victorious on the other side.
In the mirrors, Justin is smirking and pointing at my rear. It's not a pretty sight. The rear bumper of the Evoque, including the natty but decoration-only exhaust trims, has been ripped clean off. The front bumper has been squished, and parts of the side-view cameras have, kind of, gone. It's not been stopped, but the flowery, stylish bits have been found wanting. Roger sighs again. "Bit too much feeling, there..." he says, as we gather up the various excised Land Rover parts and stow them somewhat sheepishly in the boot.