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It's the doors. You know why they've been fitted; so that we're reminded of the old 300 Gullwing. That's fine. But you also know that at some point, you are going to have to get out of the damn thing, when people are looking. And they're going to think you're a cock.

This is a little-known fact among petrolheads. You may think that people will be impressed by your purple metal flake paint job or your enormous rear spoiler or your massive tailpipes. But they aren't. They see a passion for cars like we see a passion for golf. They think it's ridiculous. And those doors? They're the full Rupert Bear Pringle number. The full look-at-me nonsense that no one likes. Put simply - if you have a car with doors that open upwards, you will get less sex.