Porsche Cayenne

Testament to the compelling business case for the SUV, the Porsche Cayenne is a ghastly diversion from the Porsche purist path that has made the company so much money it’s never looked back. Ugly, expensive, pointless… and everywhere.

• Comfort

  It goes without saying that the Cayenne is the lap of luxury. For an SUV with such a turn of speed and relative composure in the corners it's amazing how well it rides. Engine and wind noise are also nothing to worry about.

  

• Performance

  Depending on the varying levels of your wealth and lack of self-respect it is possible to have a quick, very quick or absurdly quick Cayenne. The 4.8-litre Turbo will hit 62mph in 5.1 seconds and keep at it until 171mph. But the world will hate you.

  

• Cool

  No-one likes a sanctimonious lefty, but if someone gobs on the windscreen of your Cayenne Turbo S you can rightly reason you had it coming. Caveat Emptor.

  

• Quality

  Definitely not going to fall apart in your hands this, but some bits and bobs in the Cayenne feel a little VW parts bin compared to a proper 911, and it's no match for the luxury of a Range Rover.

  

• Handling

  It may be a full-size SUV, but Porsche went to a hell of a lot of trouble in the protracted development of the Cayenne to ensure it handled like a car. And it does, although more like a big, quite shit one you keep thinking you might crash.

  

• Practicality

  Our only criticism here is that for such a big car we'd have hoped for a bit more rear legroom. Nonetheless, it's big by any standards and naturally vast for a Porsche.

  

• Running costs

  How does 18mpg sound? That's Porsche's own best figure for the Cayenne GTS on a combined cycle, so you can imagine what the reality would be like, especially if you drove it as hard as they want you to.