Richard Hammond

Richard Hammond on the Vauxhall VXR8 Bathurst S

Smokin’

See more pics of Richard thrashing the VXR8

This VXR8 is called ‘Bathurst' after the legendary Australian race of that name. Try to imagine the British Touring Car Championship marrying Mad Max, and producing offspring that in turn sets up home with the Heavyweight Boxing Federation and Shark Fishing and you'd be getting close to Bathurst.

It's kind of a tribal thing, with the huge crowds divided into two distinct groups. There are those who love Ford, and those who love Holden. I don't mean love, as in ‘prefer' or ‘favour'; I mean love as in ‘defend to the death and hate until your own demise those who profess their love for the other side'.

You never change your mind, you are born and you adopt whichever of those two tribes was championed by your father, and that is that. For life. Families have been broken up by it and skulls smashed in the disupte of it. This is, indirectly, a Holden. So in the Southern Hemisphere, there will be those who love it already, and those for whom it is the four-wheeled incarnation of the devil himself.

I've met a genuine Bathurst legend, in fact I spent a week working on stage with him on the Australian leg of our Top Gear Live World Tour. He's not exactly the type to show an interest in soft furnishings, if you see what I mean. I doubt he's ever consulted a ‘colourway' for ‘inspiration'.

He's called Greg Murphy - anyone prepared to take on a 6.2km stretch of legendary Australian racetrack lined with baying Aussies and Kiwis, all in beer-soaked t-shirts, shouting obscenities at the bulk of the field and offering to mate with their favourite drivers, tends to bear a manly, rugged sort of name and attitude. No one at Bathurst has ever written ‘Lancelot Raffish-Cuffs' where the form says ‘NAME' at driver registration.

Greg's a Holden man. He has won at Bathurst in them four times and holds the all-time lap record, a feat he achieved in 2003 and for which he has since been treated like a god by his countrymen. Which means they throw beer bottles at him in the street and make terrifying baying sounds when he walks on stage with two idiots from a telly show. I asked him how it felt to compete at Bathurst. This was his reply:

"There is nothing like having a 100kg woman wearing a Ford singlet, with a Ford tattoo, screaming, ‘You're a f*cking w*nker, Murphy!' across the fence at you 10 minutes before the start of a race."

Hmmm. I don't imagine the Prescott Hillclimb will ever volunteer to host Bathurst 1000, but it sounds brilliant.

"I just belted around in it as best as I could, grinning, whooping, shouting and laughing at the whole glorious experience"

The Bathurst S Edition starts as a standard VXR8, the V8-powered Vauxhall that was better known to us as the Monaro, and adored by some for its sideways lariness and down-home simplicity. Naturally, I loved it. But it's been made a lot tougher. The mighty 6.0-litre V8 is now attached to a Walkinshaw 122 Supercharger, and belts out a massive 562bhp. That's Lamborghini territory.

What takes it beyond Lamborghini territory and into another world entirely though, is the astonishing 527lb ft of torque. As a result, the slightest dab of the throttle means the Bathurst S squats, bellows and charges at the vanishing point in unbelievably quick time.

You can also option a Bi-Modal Exhaust, which raises power by 10bhp, and when you punch the ‘Bi-Modal' button on the dash - and you better had punch it, because this is not a car in which to ‘flick' or ‘touch' switches - will switch from ‘Street' to ‘Optimum', basically upping the exhaust noise from 92dbA to an immense 102dbA.

The tricksy suspension, improved with stiffer springs and lots of user-adjustment on board, is another fine reason you can hustle this thing about at serious speed. Plus, the brakes have been uprated (six pots at the front and four pots at the back) and the engine mapping has been Walkinshawed. Hell, you can even specify 20in wheels.

Me, I just belted around in it as best as I could, grinning, whooping, shouting and laughing at the whole glorious experience. I could have quite easily consumed a tank of fuel in it without ever leaving my drive. All very lovely. And it only costs £45,000, which is pretty incredible. Smashing, job done.

And then there's the noise. My God, the noise... the bloody noise. I can still hear it now; I will always be able to hear it. When I am in need of a lift, of a surge of testosterone and feel-good endorphins, I shall play it in my head.

The metallic, bitter whine of the supercharger shrieks above the basso ruminations of the big V8 to makea noise like Sid Vicious screaming obscenities down a vacuum pipe accompanied by Thor, completely pissed and playing timpani using dinosaur-bones as drumsticks. It's the single manliest thing anywhere, ever. And it works like a combination of Red Bull, 80 per cent proof vodka, raw steak, Red Savina chillis, hardcore pornography, full-contact martial arts and bull fighting. I fear I may have made a postbox pregnant simply by driving past it.

I got out of the VXR8 Bathurst S with so much testosterone pulsing through my veins, none of my dogs would go near me and my wife's horse ran away with its tail between its legs, yelping. I felt like I could shout louder, spit further and arm-wrestle a bear. I had hairy eyes. It really was that good.

In what I can only imagine was an attempt to make themselves sexy and virile, James and Jeremy drank vodka laced with snake's blood at a bar in Vietnam last year. The misguided fools. All they needed to do was spend 30 seconds in the VXR8 macho-nator to put enough lead in their pencils to keep them happy and horny for centuries.

Now watch an old clip of Clarkson hooning around in the VXR8:

 

TAGS// Richard Hammond, Column, Vauxhall VXR8 Bathurst S

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Go Holden!!!

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it is a god car

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The VXR8 is not based on a Monaro (the previous generation Coupe). It's a cross between the HSV Clubsport R8 and the GTS, which are have some Holden Commodore in them.

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a great,informative article, and as always, a lot of fun. keep 'em coming!

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It has a 6.0 Supercharged V8 making 562bhp and an exhaust system that can vibrate a woman to orgasm from two miles away. It's SO damn manly, it should be called the Shaftmobile Grizzly Bear 9000. It should be hammering up some drywall and barbeqeuing a chainsaw. It should have a little Alfa Romeo between it's rear wheels and a Minigun upfront for clearing traffic. It is, simply, the Vauxhall VXR8 Bathurst S.

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Make it LHD someone! It's just sooooo cooooool! Damn, I gotta move to Australia.

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I want one of these cars so bad it hurts.

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Damn you Richard! when I first heard about it, I thought: eh, how much better can it possibly be? compared to the Monaro, not a lot. But you, with your speech about testosterone filled veins and bull fighting have made me want one, badly! and God knows what I'll do if I get it. I'll have to move to the Isle of Man and then............

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http://www.fquick.com/videos/Supercharged_Vauxhall_VXR8/5926 here`s the noise!

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So the button doesn't make it faster, just louder? Why can't they put that on every car? Thanks for the article, it was a great read.

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this car is satan himself come back to haunted and tease us to go that little bit faster.It is the maddest and baddest cars to date and it has not been tamed by the euro pratsbring on the goood times vrx bathurst

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Yes it may be manly but what is up with the girly S on the end of its name :) The best news is here in Australia the Walkinshaw people will kindly do up your HSV Clubsport R8 to the same specs and all for A$100k including Clubsport and without the girly S :)

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Yes it may be manly but what is up with the girly S on the end of its name :) The best news is here in Australia the Walkinshaw people will kindly do up your HSV Clubsport R8 to the same specs and all for A$100k including Clubsport and without the girly S :)

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Great car... call it Tiddly-Widdly for all I care. Remember the Gumpert...

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Wow! This might be the only car that can slap a Lambo Reventon that will also reply with a 'Thank you sir".

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Wow! This might be the only car that can slap a Lambo Reventon that will also reply with a 'Thank you sir".

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Wow! This might be the only car that can slap a Lambo Reventon that will also reply with a 'Thank you sir".

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@mudhugger: so it's a case of 'Come to the dark side, we've got cookies', then? Where do I apply? Off topic (a bit): how do you pronounce Bathurst? Bat-hurst or Bath-urst? I know that track from a game, and I'd like to know. It's my favourite, knife-edge dangerous track of all time. With a bit of accent it might even be 'Baddest'...

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Man, only australia could have come up with this. My caveman instincts are coming back... Me like=)

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Is there any reason to like Fords, no, is there any reason to like this? HELL YES!!

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wicked artical as always the vxr8 is one them cars that will make you shoot in your pants by just looking at it ;)

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Correction: the supercharged Clubbie with all the options in Australia actually uses the 6.2 litre LS3 engine and is 630bhp not the paltry 562bhp :P and costs a mere A$97,160 awesome! Enjoy http://carsguide.news.com.au/site/news-and-reviews/story/first_drive_walkinshaw_performance_hsv_clubsport/

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@Takk its pronounced Bath-urst or Mount Panorama and it is a crazy, crazy track. Oh and Greg Murphy's time on Bathurst was 2 minutes 8.7906 seconds if you want to try and beat it in the game :)

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woah!!!! GO HOLDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Isn't that "just" a very special Vauxhall? Err... Opel? Err... Fiat?

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Isn't that "just" a very special Vauxhall? Err... Opel? Err... Fiat?

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mates dad works for GM and well lets just say that the bathhurst S is a wicked car :)

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i like the bmw better

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Don't take the Holden's name in vain /dev/zenz!

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I take it this is typically Australian engineering, more mechanical than technical. If so, I want one. It will need a spot of underseal if it is going to survive on our winter roads though. ;)

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Have you had a look at the 427??????????

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How about checking out the Ford Falcon opposition, just to let you UK Ford fans into what they're missing. I live in NZ and drive an '04 Falcon XR-8 ute I bought new. It makes 350 bhp out of the box and only cost me 15k. in pounds!!!

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And Greg Murphy is a New Zealander, not an Aussie. Hammond clearly cant remember where he was when he met Murphy..it wasnt Australia, but at the Auckland Topgear live show.

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Yossarian said: "Make it LHD someone! It's just sooooo cooooool! Damn, I gotta move to Australia." ------------------------------------------- They did make a LHD version of it for the US market which is/was the last of the Pontiacs - the GR8, I think! This was also the first to go, though there are probably a few left on showroom floors over there. The 427 (more properly the W427 - the 'W' stands for walkinshaw) is a limited production 7.0litre version of the Commodore. As was pointed out earlier too, Richard, the Monaro is/was based on the Commodore and not the other way around old mate.

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@stuckinDubai: If Holden were to be taken over by Fiat the VXR8 would probably be renamed to "Ave Maria Santissima" and have a sign of a cross right besides it for good measure. Also, a chapel would be named "Ave Maria Santissima dei Bassi Fondi" and a pilgrimage journeys to it would be organised. Quite reverend.

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This is in answer to TAKK as to how Bathurst is pronounced (said in laymans terms). Ba (said as in back) thurst (said as in thirst). The Bathurst track procudes so much adrenalin that it takes a long time to calm down after having travelled around it at speed. I was lucky enough to race around that track in an A9X Torana and clocked the third fastest for the day. We placed 3rd over all. Loved the article, laughed all the way through it. Very discriptive Hamster, well done.

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Glad some people are clearing up how my home town is being pronounced. Being born and bred in Bathurst it was the most annoying sound when the Mexicans from Victoria and the Kiwis would pronounce it Bath Hurst. Great to see Holden (Vauxhall) bringing out a car full of nuts to honour the great race. Not just bias because i was born there but i lived in England for 6 years and was in stitches watching the Chavs do up their GTi's and think they had some nuts when now there are some real cars in the Monaro and the VXR8 now there.

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So when are the TG guys going to come and drive our Mount??? - Mount Panorama is a public road and can be driven at any time, although the speed is only 60 kph

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What's that noise that Homer makes when he's drooling over some food or Duff beer . . ? ? "AARLLLLLLLLLLLL" ? ? ? IF you ever need someone 'normal' to drive it and give you an opinion on it . . . . I'M YOUR MAN !

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Old school oz beef

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hammond ....... can you try toyota aurin trd for me ??

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and i forget to say : it's like lumina ss

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As others have said, Bathurst is pronounced like, math herst with a B, instead of a m. Not like 'barth', as in having a tub. And yes, how about the Stig does a few laps at Bathurst in a V8 Supercar and see hows he goes. Perhaps our Aussie Top Gear could organise it. What do you reckon?

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