A most peculiar portfolio from a brand better known for its motorbikes. But just when you’re tearing your hair out over Suzuki’s ridiculously tarty off-roaders and limp city cars, they give us the Swift – a bloody good hatch. Only snobbery stands in its way – and you could change that if you wanted.
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Grand Vitara
£12,544 - £19,302
The merest hint of real off-road hacking potential, Jeep Wrangler style, is all but obliterated by the spectre of Essex manicurists clip-clopping through Chingford.
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Jimny
£9,640 - £11,354
Not the choice of manicurists, but equally alien to Land Rover Defender appreciators looking for a change. Less comfortable than Gordon Brown during PM’s Questions.
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Splash
£8,260 - £10,198
Cardboard-box-shaped city car, twinned with Vauxhall’s Agila. Brave move to name it after the noise most owners would like to hear it make when they push it off a cliff.
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Swift
£8,199 - £11,598
A hatch so cheeky it rocks up at the Mini’s party with a four-pack of Special Brew, trashes the bathroom and leaves with the Mini’s girlfriend. New order?
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SX4
£10,388 - £14,290
One of those terrifically bad jacked-up superminis, the point of which nobody can fathom. Twinned with Fiat’s equally silly Sedici. Stop this nonsense, d’you hear?







Open Car Bar