Volvo C70

Brace yourself for a moment. I'm about to mention a few pet annoyances which, depending on the individual, have an effect ranging from the mildly irritating to the highly distressing: 1. finger nails scraping a chalky blackboard; 2. chewing on tin foil; 3. scraping a saucepan with a metal spoon; 4. biting a fork; 5. scrunching up cellophane and 6. scuttle shake in a contemporary convertible.

In my opinion, 1. is torture while 5. and 6. offend the least, but, having just conducted a quick straw poll in the office, and taken note of views from some passengers in this new C70 Convertible, it would seem that many drivers are indeed driven to distraction by scuttle shake - more even than the other aggravations listed above.

In case you're unsure what we're talking about here; when a coupe's metal roof is replaced by cloth, the body loses much of its rigidity, unless there's extensive, effective and, often heavy, under-body strengthening. Without it, the insidious shake can become a negative factor.

To be accurate, facia movement in this Volvo, even on a bumpy road, is slight. But worse is the movement of the steering wheel. You can feel it over quite small ripples and on a bumpy country road it visibly jitters about. Now, I know that at normal speeds a bit of scuttle shake doesn't noticeably effect the handling or dynamics of the car, it just looks poor. But my colleagues have reminded me that, in this day and age, it's no longer mandatory, even on big cabrios - although the only full four-seater (not 2+2) we can think of which truly has this problem licked is the Mercedes-Benz CLK. So, in common with soft-top offerings from Audi, BMW, Bentley, Saab, to name but a few, the C70 Convertible's scuttle also shakes.

Worse than all this, is the ridiculously shaped boot. I'd guess that about 75 per cent of the useable bootspace is taken by the container for the glass-screened roof. Volvo should do a deal with the airlines whereby, if you can get your luggage into this car's boot, then you can take it on the plane as hand baggage. Forget your bigger Delseys and Samsonites - there's no way they're fitting in here.

It's nothing special to drive either. The 2.4-litre light-pressure turbo engine kicks out a substantial 193bhp - more than enough for most situations - but it doesn't feel particularly muscular out on the road. Plus the steering is lifeless, while the suspension is set for comfort not sport.

Other than that, it's a very desirable car, with superbly comfortable front seats, plenty of legroom in the rear, a terrific 10-speaker audio system, a smooth four-speed auto trans- mission, sophisticated power-roof mechanism, eye-catching styling and, of course, ROPS, SIPS and WHIPS safety systems.

So, a bit of a mixed bag then - one which probably wouldn't fit into this C70's boot...

Tom Stewart