“I’m a Celebrity, Cut Me Out of Here!“

OK, so you've made your millions. You've decided against going racing with the money, which is probably a good idea, given what these pictures reveal. But nevertheless, you have decided to splash some of that disposable income on something you're about to dispose of much quicker than you originally anticipated.

We're talking, of course, about the propensity of the rich and famous to pop into their local showrooms at lunchtime, purchase a supercar and then — despite the old adage that "with great power comes great responsibility" — bounce it off the nearest tree, lamp post, wall, car...take your pick. And, if we're honest, we love seeing them do it. So let us rejoice, then, over the following examples of celebrities making complete arses of themselves on public highways. To paraphrase the sage naval commander in "Top Gun": Their egos were writing checks their bodies couldn't cash.

So with the help of our good friends at wreckedexotics.com, we've come up with a kind of Now That's What I Call Crap Driving compilation for your entertainment. To witness more of the automotive fallout for the rich and famous, visit their site and gawk at mangled Mercs and bent Bentleys. You'll find there's a whole world of perverse pleasure to be had in witnessing a Bugatti Veyron that's suddenly gone very wrong.

One of our favorite smashes was served up a few months ago by Anthony Hamilton, father of a certain McLaren driver. Such is his boy's kudos, that Hamilton Senior was hooning about in a borrowed Carrera GT. While showing off for some kids, he gave it too much welly and stuffed it into a deserted playground via a bush. Backward.

In fact, McLarens seem to attract a considerable amount of clowning around. There's Rowan Atkinson's alter ego, Mr. Bean, for example, who shunted his McLaren F1 into a Rover Metro. Or the boxer Prince Naseem, who overreached himself a tad when he stuffed his silver McMerc SLR head-on into an oncoming VW Golf in 2006.

And no crash compilation would be complete without footballers. Trashing automotive exotica is as much a part of their raison d'etre as their ardent determination to find ties with knots wider than their own necks, or their noble ambition to distill the English language to simply three words, one of which is "gaffer." Even B-listers like James Beattie (blond bloke, played for Southampton) earn enough to buy Lambos and such. Check out the "light scuffing" on his Gallardo. We've also got fine efforts by Samuel Eto'o and everyone's favorite flapper David Seaman.

But the bread and butter of celebrity crashes focuses on the Hollywood set. As we all know, Hollywood is a very special place where normal people go to become plastic, egomaniacal freaks with bad chemicals running around in their brains. Such transformations inevitably have an effect on driving style. It's just a theory, but some of the actors might be doing it on purpose when they feel they are not getting enough attention — actors can be like that. As far as the girls go — Britney, Paris, Lindsay, et al. — a good crash is a chance to keep them in the media cycle, with exclusives like "How I Rebuilt My Life After My Car-Crash Hell" and "How My Near-Death Experience in a Car Crash Made Me Realize the Important Things in Life, Like My Little Toy Dog and My Huge Fake Tits."

So thank you, celebrities, one and all, and make sure you keep on buying those overpowered supercars. But look out for that — ahh, too late.

Anthony Hamilton

Just wait until the FIA bureaucrats see this one. He was probably on his way to steal secrets from Ferrari. Either that, or he was late picking Lewis up from Scouts. The GT wasn't even his...

Damage Rating: 5/10

Britney Spears

Hit me, baby, one more time. And another, and another. Poor old Brit forgets all about her angles and demonstrates a classic fender bender. Miniature dog was unharmed in the making of this stupidity.

Damage Rating: 1/10

Ian Wright

The money/sense ratio is never going to swing in Wrighty's favor. He stuffed this 360 Spider into a tree in Croydon, and wasn't far off the nearby houses. Cost him nearly 60 grand to fix.

Damage rating:7/10

Lindsay Lohan

When you're a polymath like Lohan, it's no surprise that your mind is not on the road. After all, there are great songs to be written, great performances to give, great thoughts to be thinked. Err...

Damage Rating: 3/10

Eddie Griffin...

...is a comedian, apparently. Shame he got a bit slapstick in this $1.5 million Enzo, then shamelessly milked his "little incident" for weeks afterward. Still, it serves as proof that Americans don't do corners.

Damage rating: 7/10

Jay Kay

Fear not, the "Top Gear" celeb lap record holder was not responsible for this one. He'd lent it to someone else, who stuffed it on Park Lane. Jay, memo to self: Don't lend your cars to your mates.

Damage Rating:4/10