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Potholes 'feel pain' and can even 'cry', scientists claim

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Potholes 'feel pain' and can even 'cry', scientists claim | Top Gear

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Landmark study suggests shambolic British roads have recognisable feelings

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Potholes 'feel pain' and can even 'cry', scientists claim

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Landmark study suggests shambolic British roads have recognisable feelings

# data.attributes.metatag[].attributes.content
Landmark study suggests shambolic British roads have recognisable feelings

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Potholes 'feel pain' and can even 'cry', scientists claim

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Potholes 'feel pain' and can even 'cry', scientists claim

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Potholes 'feel pain' and can even 'cry', scientists claim

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Landmark study suggests shambolic British roads have recognisable feelings

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Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Britain’s potholes can ‘feel pain’, a shocking new report has found.

A group of scientists who’ve been studying the tyre-splitting craters for over a decade claim the road imperfections not only feel what humans would class as ‘harm’, but on occasion even ‘cry’, too.

The group is now calling on Chancellor Rachel Reeves to reverse her £500m pledge to fix the country’s vast network of potholes and instead give these now-sentient entities protected status.

“No, we didn’t believe it at first either,” one of the scientists told TopGear.com, “because pain is something a pothole delivers, not endures. And anyway, it’s a sodding pothole.

“But when we were about to fix it, the strangest thing happened. Its material began to subtly shift, as though it was trying to protect itself from harm.

“And I swear it let out a little cry. We spent years and countless millions researching these phenomena and soon discovered potholes aren’t the villainous, cretinous, suspension-killing, wheel-destroying purveyors of hate.

“They’re like pets. Ugly pets, granted, but liddle widdle pets.”

However, other scientists have instead posited that potholes aren’t sentient but are in fact portals to alien dimensions and have urged the government to send in a silent, bespectacled MIT graduate wielding a goatee and a crowbar immediately.

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Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Britain’s potholes can ‘feel pain’, a shocking new report has found.

A group of scientists who’ve been studying the tyre-splitting craters for over a decade claim the road imperfections not only feel what humans would class as ‘harm’, but on occasion even ‘cry’, too.

The group is now calling on Chancellor Rachel Reeves to reverse her £500m pledge to fix the country’s vast network of potholes and instead give these now-sentient entities protected status.

“No, we didn’t believe it at first either,” one of the scientists told TopGear.com, “because pain is something a pothole delivers, not endures. And anyway, it’s a sodding pothole.

“But when we were about to fix it, the strangest thing happened. Its material began to subtly shift, as though it was trying to protect itself from harm.

“And I swear it let out a little cry. We spent years and countless millions researching these phenomena and soon discovered potholes aren’t the villainous, cretinous, suspension-killing, wheel-destroying purveyors of hate.

“They’re like pets. Ugly pets, granted, but liddle widdle pets.”

However, other scientists have instead posited that potholes aren’t sentient but are in fact portals to alien dimensions and have urged the government to send in a silent, bespectacled MIT graduate wielding a goatee and a crowbar immediately.

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Landmark study suggests shambolic British roads have recognisable feelings