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Top Gear’s guide to staying awake for the Monaco Grand Prix

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Top Gear’s guide to staying awake for the Monaco Grand Prix | Top Gear

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Top tips to resist the Land of Nod so you can, er, witness those two mandatory pit stops

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Top Gear’s guide to staying awake for the Monaco Grand Prix

# data.attributes.metatag[].attributes.content
Top tips to resist the Land of Nod so you can, er, witness those two mandatory pit stops

# data.attributes.metatag[].attributes.content
Top tips to resist the Land of Nod so you can, er, witness those two mandatory pit stops

# data.attributes.metatag[].attributes.content
Top Gear’s guide to staying awake for the Monaco Grand Prix

# data.attributes.metatag[].attributes.content
Top Gear’s guide to staying awake for the Monaco Grand Prix

# data.attributes.metatag[].attributes.content
Top Gear’s guide to staying awake for the Monaco Grand Prix

# data.attributes.metatag[].attributes.content
Top tips to resist the Land of Nod so you can, er, witness those two mandatory pit stops

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It’s the Monaco Grand Prix this weekend: a race famous for its prestige, glamour, and giving its global TV audience a much-needed forty winks on a Sunday afternoon. Zzz.

But wait! F1 has realised that the lack of overtaking is a bit of a problem, so it’s introduced a groundbreaking new measure that it hopes will keep viewers hooked. And conscious.

A new, much wider section of track in the harbour? A Hot Wheels-style jump instead of that chicane? A joker lap in those awesome Lego F1 cars from Miami?

Er, no. For the first time ever the drivers will be forced… to complete two mandatory pit stops. That’s it. Cue the chirping crickets.

Except, there might be something in it. Pitting into the chasing pack is a nightmare problem even for F1’s elite strategists and whichever Ferrari work experience kid is calling the shots that day.

So having to do it twice could make the outcome a complete lottery, especially if some of the teams with nothing to lose decide to throw a Hail Mary and call in a favour from lady luck.

Say one of the Saubers pits from last place on the opening lap, then pits again at the first hint of a safety car. Then it only need wait for the other 19 cars to make their second stops and hey presto: congrats on your first F1 win, Gabriel Bortoleto.

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Or… a team could play the long game and leave both its drivers out, then use one as a carbon fibre roadblock as the other disappears into the distance with the race lead. Teamwork makes the dream work.

Long story short, you’re going to want to pay attention to this one. Here’s how to stay sentient from lights to flag.

Turn the volume up to the max

Simple, and possibly anti-social. But effective. Whack the TV volume right up to 11 and guarantee the conditions for deep sleep aren’t met. Who could possibly drift off to Martin Brundle noticing a yellow in sector 1, or Charles Leclerc complaining that his ‘front right tyre is dead’ when it’s literally making the walls shake?

Sit in an uncomfortable chair

Nope, no comfy sofa for you. Instead fetch one of those solid oak, no-veneer-in-’ere dining chairs that you agreed to buy but definitely didn’t appreciate paying for when you moved house all those years ago. And no, you may not use the fitted cushions they came with. Finish it off with an itchy blanket, and stick a couple of Lego bricks under your bum for good measure.

Or just stand up. Difficult to nod off while upright. Unless you’re a horse.

Fuel up on Overpriced F1 Merch Rage*

Never go to bed angry, that’s what they say. So get your blood boiling intentionally and use it as a source of energy to last the distance. We recommend browsing team merch websites – your cries of ‘How much?!’ will be enough to power a small town, never mind your eyelids. Shoutout to the $345 McLaren raincoat TG saw recently at the Miami Grand Prix. Made the $120 baseball caps almost look good value.

*Trademark pending

Instigate a treat system

For every lap you stay awake, help yourself to a couple of M&Ms (other chocolate-based snacks are available). The key to this is keeping the bag just out of reach, so you have to physically get up each time. Maybe throw in a few sit-ups to combat the calorie intake.

Turn the grand prix into a drinking game

As this is a family site we’re strictly referring to soft drinks, but hear us out. Favourite driver flat-spotted his tyres? Drink. Caught speeding in the pit lane? Drink. Overtaken on track? Triple drink. The catch is that no one is allowed to rush off to the toilet, and may only use the second-hand commode you picked up on Ebay in advance. Yeah, no one’s sleeping now. Or ever again.

Simultaneously play the 1996 race on a split screen

2025 race not delivering the goods? Turn your attention to an edition that did. The 1996 Monaco Grand Prix is famous for (spoiler alert!) Olivier Panis winning from 14th on the grid, while all but three cars either crashed out, spun off, or broke down. Now THAT’s a grand prix. Rose-tinted viewing spectacles optional.

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It’s the Monaco Grand Prix this weekend: a race famous for its prestige, glamour, and giving its global TV audience a much-needed forty winks on a Sunday afternoon. Zzz.

But wait! F1 has realised that the lack of overtaking is a bit of a problem, so it’s introduced a groundbreaking new measure that it hopes will keep viewers hooked. And conscious.

A new, much wider section of track in the harbour? A Hot Wheels-style jump instead of that chicane? A joker lap in those awesome Lego F1 cars from Miami?

Er, no. For the first time ever the drivers will be forced… to complete two mandatory pit stops. That’s it. Cue the chirping crickets.

Except, there might be something in it. Pitting into the chasing pack is a nightmare problem even for F1’s elite strategists and whichever Ferrari work experience kid is calling the shots that day.

So having to do it twice could make the outcome a complete lottery, especially if some of the teams with nothing to lose decide to throw a Hail Mary and call in a favour from lady luck.

Say one of the Saubers pits from last place on the opening lap, then pits again at the first hint of a safety car. Then it only need wait for the other 19 cars to make their second stops and hey presto: congrats on your first F1 win, Gabriel Bortoleto.

Or… a team could play the long game and leave both its drivers out, then use one as a carbon fibre roadblock as the other disappears into the distance with the race lead. Teamwork makes the dream work.

Long story short, you’re going to want to pay attention to this one. Here’s how to stay sentient from lights to flag.

Turn the volume up to the max

Simple, and possibly anti-social. But effective. Whack the TV volume right up to 11 and guarantee the conditions for deep sleep aren’t met. Who could possibly drift off to Martin Brundle noticing a yellow in sector 1, or Charles Leclerc complaining that his ‘front right tyre is dead’ when it’s literally making the walls shake?

Sit in an uncomfortable chair

Nope, no comfy sofa for you. Instead fetch one of those solid oak, no-veneer-in-’ere dining chairs that you agreed to buy but definitely didn’t appreciate paying for when you moved house all those years ago. And no, you may not use the fitted cushions they came with. Finish it off with an itchy blanket, and stick a couple of Lego bricks under your bum for good measure.

Or just stand up. Difficult to nod off while upright. Unless you’re a horse.

Fuel up on Overpriced F1 Merch Rage*

Never go to bed angry, that’s what they say. So get your blood boiling intentionally and use it as a source of energy to last the distance. We recommend browsing team merch websites – your cries of ‘How much?!’ will be enough to power a small town, never mind your eyelids. Shoutout to the $345 McLaren raincoat TG saw recently at the Miami Grand Prix. Made the $120 baseball caps almost look good value.

*Trademark pending

Instigate a treat system

For every lap you stay awake, help yourself to a couple of M&Ms (other chocolate-based snacks are available). The key to this is keeping the bag just out of reach, so you have to physically get up each time. Maybe throw in a few sit-ups to combat the calorie intake.

Turn the grand prix into a drinking game

As this is a family site we’re strictly referring to soft drinks, but hear us out. Favourite driver flat-spotted his tyres? Drink. Caught speeding in the pit lane? Drink. Overtaken on track? Triple drink. The catch is that no one is allowed to rush off to the toilet, and may only use the second-hand commode you picked up on Ebay in advance. Yeah, no one’s sleeping now. Or ever again.

Simultaneously play the 1996 race on a split screen

2025 race not delivering the goods? Turn your attention to an edition that did. The 1996 Monaco Grand Prix is famous for (spoiler alert!) Olivier Panis winning from 14th on the grid, while all but three cars either crashed out, spun off, or broke down. Now THAT’s a grand prix. Rose-tinted viewing spectacles optional.

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Top tips to resist the Land of Nod so you can, er, witness those two mandatory pit stops