As truly difficult gigs go, working at Top Gear isn’t so much ‘deciding what houses to save in a bushfire’ as ‘deciding which mildly caustic simile to invoke about a new car’. It’s a good gig. We admit it.
But then we got the idea to rate M Division’s entire oeuvre, only allowing one of two possible marks: hit or miss. All of a sudden, we were volunteering for hose duty. Because summing up an entire car, only to endorse or dismiss it summarily, is the hardest choice we’ve had to make since our local started offering both IPA and double IPA. Our lives really aren’t all that difficult, are they?
Anywho, to keep things as simple as possible, we’re only talking about the proper M cars. If we included M-badged cars, we’d have to go through all the skim-milk M Performance cars and every ‘genuine M3’ in a McDonalds car park.