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There’s no getting away from it: the future of mankind is doomed. Forsaken. Done for. We’re almost certainly going to be either a) consumed by some form of zombie apocalypse, or b) forced to live in and enjoy a world where Justin Bieber records another hit record.

Thankfully, Mercedes has engineered a vehicle tailored specifically towards the Bieberpocalypse future. It’s called the Unimog. And it’s now been updated. This makes us very excited.

You see, the Unimog is a monster of a car. It will literally go anywhere, and that’s something we admire. For the new generation, Merc’s big truck gets a ten-model range, completely redesigned panoramic cabs, new work and power hydraulics systems, and synergetic traction drive, which apparently allows changing over from manual transmission to hydrostatic transmission while driving.

It’s also been given a new design, there are a couple of new ‘BlueEfficiency’ engines to keep it in line with Euro VI emissions regulations, it’s more fuel efficient than before and features new solenoid injectors with ten-hole jets. Ten-hole jets!

There’s a new multifunction steering wheel, an adjustable steering column, better heating and cooling with improved airflow - perfect for those times when outrunning a horde of teenage zombies causes your brow to leak - and a detachable joystick for operating implements, amongst other shiny new things. Perfect for playing real life Call of Duty.

Engines are of four and six cylinder variety, with power outputs ranging from 156bhp through to 354bhp.

Mercedes assures us that “Unimog vehicles have a long life and are robust and reliable”, and we’re inclined to agree. After all, anything with the ability to ford up to 1200mm, climb 45 degrees and have an axle articulation of 30 degrees means that however many zombies/Bieber records are on the horizon, you can escape to freedom. Just don’t look back.

Vijay Pattni

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