Noted engineer hails ‘miracle’ discovery of new motorsport gear ratio

Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

A noted and experienced motorsport engineer expressed shock today following the big screen discovery of a hitherto unknown gear ratio capable of overtaking every single car on track in a single lap.

The discovery of the new ‘miracle’ gear – which the engineer claims will ‘shake the very core of global motorsport’ – also coincided with the unearthing of an additional ten inches of previously unknown accelerator pedal travel.

Data shown in a new car film proved that when the ‘miracle’ new gear and extra pedal travel were utilised together - following a cringeworthy voice-over from a mentor or an entirely crass manipulation of tragedy used as character motivation - drivers were able to overtake their rivals as though racing in a different formula.

“I’ve been in the motorsport game a long time,” the engineer with decades of real-world experience told TopGear.com, “but when I saw that racing driver upshift and push the pedal flat out – despite being in the highest gear on a flat out straight already – I knew my life would never be the same again.

“All those years spent fine tuning gearboxes and engines to eke out tenths of a second, all for nothing.

“My life has been a complete and utter waste.”

Rumours suggest that having seen this new car film – and subsequently researching every single car movie ever filmed – a number of top racing teams including Mercedes F1 are hastily redeveloping their car philosophies in a bid to copy this revolutionary new layout.

“The day you saw that driver find the miracle gear to overtake everyone as though they were standing still you hailed as a ‘miracle’,” a Red Bull Racing insider told TG.

“We call it ‘just another Sunday afternoon’,” the insider added, while attempting to contain a laugh.