Mini Cooper S vs Ford Fiesta ST

John Cooper, famous Mini fiddler and F1 designer, may have been somewhat horrified by the car that now wears his name. For if you pop the new Mini Cooper S into Sport mode, you are told by the display screen to expect - and I quote - ‘maximum go-kart feel’. Two cartoon thought bubbles appear by a picture of the car, one filled with a go-kart and the other with a rocket. Should you feel less racy, our German friends (this is a BMW Mini, remember) have programmed a different message: Green mode, for low-consumption driving fun! The whiff of cheese is strong enough to make old John turn in his grave. This is sad. Because his name is legend, as are most cars that wear it. We’ve always liked Coopers, especially the S versions and fizzy Works specials. And going by our recent first encounter, the new-gen Mini - the basic one - is very likeable. Can this new S model keep up the good work and uphold the Cooper reputation, despite the silly drawings?

Photography: Lee Brimble

This feature was originally published in the April 2014 issue of Top Gear magazine

It might look familiar, but the new Mini - or new new Mini - is a completely different car to the one it replaces. Not a single body panel is carried over. It has a new range of engines, so the Cooper S’s 1.6-litre is replaced by this 2.0-litre turbo. It has a longer front end and a new face with a couple of tusk-like air intakes under its chin. The sides are more chunkily surfaced, and the rear lights are now the size of horse saddles, in an effort to disguise the inflated proportions of the rest of the car. Inside the changes are greater. The speedo has migrated to the correct position in front of your eyes, while the central circle it vacates now houses a ring of glowing - and slightly naff - lights that frame the info screen. The mushroom stalk that controlled all the infotainment stuff is replaced by BMW’s iDrive wheel.

And yes, the ride is instantly more bobbly than in Normal mode. Like a go-kart, you might say. The throttle is keener, and the steering takes on more weight. It’s very accurate and makes the car impressively direct. It could do with a touch more feedback, as the added resistance - achieved with the help of an electrically assisted rack - steals a little feel. And it does run slightly wider than the Fiesta in the really tight bends, but it weighs 72kg more than the Ford and the engine is 402cc bigger than the ST’s 1.6-litre, so there’s more mass over the front wheels. But otherwise it’s crisp and pointy, which is just what you want from a car like this on a hectic road with hairpins.

No such gimmicks in the Ford. Just get in and get on with it. The plastics and dash design look dated next to the Mini’s shiny new layout, though they aren’t nasty. Just simple. Besides, you still have digital radio and a smattering of other luxuries. The steering, gearshift and throttle are passive, and better for it. It has rear torsion beam suspension versus the Mini’s multi-link set-up. But guess which one is more likely to cock a wheel on a sharp turn? The Ford is lighter, livelier and stops better. On a road like this, it’s constantly playfighting with little tugs at the wheel and little skips over the road. You can brake deep and late and feel the whole car pivot around you. You can be clumsy and it’ll forgive you (or give you a cheeky, oversteery fright if you come off the throttle too abruptly). In comparison, the Mini is tidier and more grown-up. It’s comfier and more refined - not just when measured against the ST, but also the Mini it replaces.

Yes, the Cooper S is a decent little(ish) hatch. But it’s less of a B-road blaster than the ST. On the flipside, it’s a better cruiser, and more comfy when mooching around town. And the cabin is now in a different league to the Ford’s. But, more than ever, the smart Mini also has one eye on the mirror. The ST has just one thing on its mind: going down a road with a smile on its face. It’s posh versus performance. Fashion versus fast. As a driving tool, the Ford dropkicks the Mini off the field. So for the Mini to make sense, to give it a real point of difference over the Ford, it needs a healthy roster of options. And once it’s loaded with those, it could cost you six grand more than the Fiesta. And just think what you could buy with that sort of money.

Go-kart, anyone?