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Tuned Porsche Cayenne news - Fatal gillness - 2009

See more Maff Muron pics

We thought nothing could ever top the Gemballa Cayenne for sheer pig-scaring ugliness. Ever. We didn’t imagine for a second it’d be mere weeks before another tuner came up with a creation to rival the eye-molesting Tornado.

But here it is, the Maff Muron. Also taking the Cayenne as its starting point - hell, if you’re going to aim ugly, you might as well give yourself all the headstart you can get - the Romanian tuning house has opted for a fetching widebody kit in a delicate shade of purple we like to call ‘Haemorrhoid Heliotrope’.

Just look at that front end. There are enough gills there to serve the oxygen demands of an entire shiver of whale sharks. You might think, reasonably, that no Earthly engine could ever require so much cooling, but Maff must believe that its tuned-up version of the Cayenne’s 4.8-litre turbocharged V8 - bumped up from 493bhp to over 700bhp - needs all the help it can get to prevent it from melting the Muron into a sticky, melted lump.

We can’t help thinking, however, that some sort of inferno-based accident might just be the best thing for the Muron. Let’s put the poor thing out of its misery…

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