Man orders air strike to remove rounded off sump plug

Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

A man has ordered a full-scale tactical air strike to remove a rounded off, comically overtightened sump plug.

The escalation in hostilities follows hours of various online video tutorials, the purchase of a Haynes manual and the misguided, naïve belief that a ‘two-spanner’ job was well within human capabilities.

The battle to remove the rounded off plug has now entered its sixth day, with the man suffering heavy casualties that have included a broken ratchet, skinning every knuckle on his hands and an accidentally chastised pet dog.

“I felt fairly confident after watching a number of shoddy videos by home mechanics where they spent 19 minutes telling me about the sump plug, and then 30 seconds actually changing it.

“’Easy half hour job’, they all said. It’s now nearly a week and I’ve got no other choice than to call in the RAF.

“I’ve tried mole grips. I’ve tried drilling the head off. I’ve even tried invoking the spirit of a vengeful demon but nothing seems to shift this 10mm hell bolt.

“Air strike it is.”

An RAF spokesperson confirmed they had received an order for a sump plug air strike. “It’ll be the ninth one we’ve done today.”