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Video: McLaren P1 hits the TG track

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Following an “unoptimised” practice session at the Australian Grand Prix, McLaren has attempted to cheer itself up - and perhaps avoid attention caused by making up daft words to describe being embarrassingly slow - by posting this video of its P1 hypercar. The ingredients were all there. A 903bhp petrol-electric powerhouse. A Formula 1 star called Checo who drives as fast as he talks. And the finest track on Earth: ours.

Yet somehow, in this video, the P1 just looks a bit… unoptimised. Slow, even. Maybe it’s just us, but we’ve seen Stars in Reasonably Priced Cars look far more optimised than this. Tom Cruise, for example, demonstrated maximum optimisation while tackling the last corner on two wheels. And Ross Noble was unarguably optimised when he crossed the line sideways.

And call us cynical, but isn’t the endorsement of a man who works for McLaren a touch… unoptimised? “It’s the closest I’ve ever been to a Formula 1 car,” says Checo. If that’s the case, we can only assume the Sauber he drove last year was actually a disguised Ford Focus. “I am so happy,” he continued, before being consumed within an inescapable spiral of optimised corporate-speak.

Obviously, the P1 will likely be very well optimised. Some normal human beings might even say it’ll be really bloody fast. So maybe this just proves that making cars look optimised on telly isn’t easy. We know cameramen who’ve contracting frostbite while a presenter drives around and around in search of an optimised shot. And we have a tame racing driver who’s never had an unoptimised day in his life.

So, McLaren, if you want your car to look optimised around our track, you know who to call. He dresses in white and he’s waiting by the phone…

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