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Dartz, TG’s preferred purveyor of military grade assault vehicles favourable to Playboy bunnies and fictional dictators, has announced its newest creation.

It’s the Prombron Black Shark ‘Spy Grey’ edition, a car that Dartz boss Leo Yankelovich reckons to be “the real spy car of the 21st century”. Many James Bond references are cited.

The basics are thus. It’s based on a Mercedes-Benz GL, and will be offered with the option of a modified version of the twin-turbo 5.5-litre V8 from the GL63 AMG, or a modified version of the twin-turbo 6.0-litre V12 from the GL65 AMG. Should you feel particularly despotic, you can spec it with 1,500bhp.

But it’s in the detail where the car really gets all 007. The Black Shark - a SWB version of the PRVY - is inspired by the Black Shark helicopter. Which means you get electrochromatic privacy windows, disappearing doorhandles with an anti-paparazzi shock-device, a body made from Kevlar and titanium to protect against magnetic mines, and a rotating bulletproof grille.

The armour-plating is rated at grade B7. The roof is sniper resistant. It has a distance explosive detector and signal jammer. There’s a ‘Golden Eye’ (geddit?) system with a fingerprint and retina scanner. There’s the ability to remotely scare off crowds using sirens and lights, and can watch over nearby vandals with the in-built cameras.

Because it’s based on the Merc architecture, it also comes with the Mercedes-Benz driver assistance package, as well as a champagne holder and sterling silver hand-polished flutes, a golden shisha, Xbox One, PS4, LTE hotspot, and leather engraved motives from aviation history.

“Our car will be dream of hundreds of tycoons,” explains Leo, “but only five will be lucky owners.” That’s right, just five will be built, plus a special edition for a London client delivered in March next year. There’s also another one-off special edition painted in Tiffany Blue with a Swarovski crystal-encrusted bonnet (built for the daughter of the London client).

“Let’s face it,” Leo says, “you are bored of serial made cars. We all are. Downsizing, eco-friendly recycled plastic materials and law regulations are making ways to stand out among the best in the car industry very inconvenient.

“With Black Shark fully customizable features and appearances you get a car that is one-off masterpiece and forever will stay that way.”

Driving the dictator: TG in the Dartz Prombron

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