Porsche Cayenne S - long-term review

"I have a feeling that our Cayenne is one of those cars where we’re going to need the full six months for it to show its true colours." That’s what I wrote, slightly despondently, when our Carmine Red Porsche Cayenne S Coupé arrived at the beginning of the year. And I couldn’t have been more right. So right, in fact, that I’ve had it for two extra months to make doubly sure I was right. And – I can confirm – I was right.

Having now clocked up over 12,000 miles (including commutes, monster road trips, track days, and off-road adventures), as well as having lived with it and slept both in and on it, I can confidently say I’ve wrung every last drop out of the Porsche Cayenne’s capabilities. In fact, the only thing I regretfully didn’t use effectively was the tow bar. I never towed anything with it, just used it when I had to pull the car – undamaged – out of a waterlogged ditch on a remote Scottish island.

But we’ll gloss over that, because, having been initially underwhelmed – if not a little miffed – when it first showed up, I’m genuinely sad to see it go. This aggressively red Cayenne S is the embodiment of why we need to live with cars for extended periods. Where I had once felt that certain elements of the car fell short of its eyebrow-raising £113,484 price tag, it turns out I was mistaken. It wasn’t lacking – it was modest. It just needed time, the right moments, and a little bit of patience to reveal the depth of its talents. All of which are deeply impressive.

Take the start-up ritual: the 4.0-litre twin-turbo V8 wakes with a reassuring blub-blub-blub, the steering feels like it’s been lifted from a proper sports car, and the bamboozling dual-chamber air suspension hints at a more complex dual personality. The chassis practically begs to be pushed – and once you lob it into a corner, it wants you to dig deeper, uncovering a treasure chest of engineering. You work the £2,546 Porsche Dynamic Chassis Control (active anti-roll bars), and call upon the locking rear differential and Porsche Torque Vectoring Plus (£1,158) to provide masses of traction, whether you’re on the road or off in the wilderness.

After a few weeks, you start getting out and looking back at the near-£3k five-spoke 22in Exclusive Design Sport wheels, realising that it’s a handsome thing. And maybe, just maybe, the Coupé version is better looking than the SUV. You’ll find yourself waiting for dusk just to lock the car and marvel at the £741 animated tinted rear LED lights you splashed out on – and, begrudgingly, you’ll admit they’re worth every penny. What isn’t, however, is the optional third passenger screen, which briefly fascinates everyone before becoming an utterly pointless exercise in nausea.

To truly grasp how far the Cayenne has travelled in its 20-odd years and 1.25 million sales, before I said farewell, I thought I’d introduce our car to its ancestor – the Cayenne Turbo S from January 2006. Remember, this was the deeply controversial model that changed Porsche’s destiny – and not without some weeping and gnashing of teeth in online forums and at cars and coffee events. Now, it’s both amusing and alarming to see how much, and how little, has changed in the two decades between them.

There are still the same central grab handles in the transmission tunnel – necessary for both cars considering our Cayenne S accelerates from 0-60 mph in just 4.4 seconds, thanks to 468bhp and the optional Sports Chrono Package, which includes launch control. But that’s underpowered compared to its Turbo S grandpappy, which packed a monstrous 514bhp when launched, making it the second most powerful road-going Porsche ever, only bested by the Carrera GT.

Both are still properly quick, rolling back onto their rear suspension before firing off into the horizon. The Turbo S, though, takes a big intake of exhaust gases to spool up the turbos and build the torque first. Plus, where the steering is super sharp in the new Cayenne, you have to momentarily wiggle the wooden wheel in the old car to make sure the front wheels are still attached and gripping the corner, as there’s little feel dead-centre.

And the interior – oh, the buttons! A bazillion buttons. There’s a button for everything; changing the radio, adjusting the suspension, even shifting gears. Yes, this is from the bewildering era of Tiptronic steering wheel buttons. Nowadays, we’ve sensibly moved to paddles (and enjoy seemingly supersonic gear changes compared to the sluggish ones of the past) and touchscreens. The new car is remarkably minimalist in comparison, with all the functions hidden in fingerprint prods, scroll wheels, and knobs.

Twenty years on, the Cayenne has matured. It’s not just a vital member of the Porsche lineup – it’s their best-selling car. It’s sharp, refined, and just a little bit shy, which I’ve come to realise is not the same thing as boring. You just need to spend more time with it. Which I wish I was doing more of.