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Ten things we learned this week: 6 May 2016 edition

Another weird week in the world of cars...

  • A driver has crashed a McLaren minutes after taking delivery

    The McLaren 650S is capable of doing 0-62mph in three seconds flat, will reach 124mph 5.4 seconds later and has a top speed of 207mph. These have long been established facts.

    But now, thanks to a man in Essex, we also know it will do 0-crashed in an extremely rapidly time as well.

    Pictures have emerged of a freshly delivered McLaren moments after a prang in Hatton, Brentwood, along with claims that the accident happened just minutes after the keys were handed over to the new owner.

    Reports say neighbours saw the man in question celebrating the delivery of his new supercar with a bottle of champagne, before smashing the front end of the £200,000 motor seconds after getting behind the wheel.

    Perhaps it’s a sign of the times that while the 650bhp machine crumpled like a paper cup, the tree appeared undamaged...

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  • Jaguar has invented a new driving game

    In a bid to showcase the abilities of its latest range of cars, Jaguar has invented a game it calls the ‘Smart Cone Challenge’, which measures the speed, precision and agility of drivers in different conditions.

    Made up of 11 gates, competitors have to aim for pairs of cones indicated by flashing LEDs in a randomized sequence. Haas F1’s Romain Grosjean was invited to set a benchmark score, clocking 49,032 points in a Jaguar XF.

    “My tip for Smart Cones is to stay completely alert and engage your peripheral vision,” said the Frenchman. “Trust me, it's a lot harder than it looks.”

    If you don’t own cones, lights, a computer system or a factory-fresh Jaguar, fear not: the company is laying on hundreds of events across the globe this year, giving potential customers the chance to try out the cars in a unique environment.

  • Mercedes wrote a bizarre letter to their fans

    Ever since Mercedes began winning races with their V6 hybrid engine, the internet has been awash with rumours that the German team has secretly been favouring German driver Nico Rosberg over the very much not-German Lewis Hamilton.

    The conspiracy theorists are, to put it mildly, talking out of their exhaust pipes, but nonetheless Mercedes have felt the need to address them with a weird ‘letter to the fans’.

    Following Rosberg’s seventh consecutive grand prix win in Russia – a race in which a water pressure issue nearly forced Hamilton’s retirement – the reigning champions published the letter assuring fans they were “baffled” and “gutted” by their recent reliability issues.

    “To those who stand with us, we thank you,” concluded the post. “And to the rest – the haters, the naysayers, the conspirators... if we can convince even half of you of what we really stand for, we’ll consider that a battle well won.”

    Okay then...

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  • Nissan created a formula for excitement

    The Japanese carmaker has teamed up with Loughborough University in a bid to explore the physiology behind the sensation of feeling excited.

    Measuring the reaction of football fans via things like heart rate and breathing, Nissan hopes to learn a thing or two about excitement and how it can be recreated in their product range.

    The research has produced the above formula for calculating exactly how exciting a match is to watch.

    “Excitement is at the heart of everything we do at Nissan,” said marketing vice president Jean-Pierre Diernaz. “Nissan is also committed to exploring excitement further, whether that’s through the effects of our cars or our other partnerships in sports.”

    Clearly he has never driven an NV200 Combi.

  • Porsche’s R&D boss has resigned

    This week, Porsche’s research and development boss Wolfgang Hatz resigned. The German manufacturer’s technical mastermind left his position after an extended period of voluntary leave, having been suspended last September as part of the ongoing VW scandal.

    Even though the grounds for his resignation are not stated, and scandal put aside for a sec, Hatz off to Wolfgang as he’s done a fine job while at Porsche.

    He was one of the main men behind Porsche’s return to top-flight racing at Le Mans with the revolutionary 2.0-litre V4 turbocharged hybrid 919 race car, made the Macan socially acceptable, brought the 918 to fruition, led the Mission E programme and brought us cars like the GT3 RS and GT4.

    Michael Steiner, head of quality management and a former manager at Daimler, has replaced Hatz with immediate effect. Big shoes to fill.

  • Leicester City football players are getting free Mercedes

    It’s well known that footballers are gracious, material-starved types who often lack rewards for kicking an inflated ball of leather around tirelessly for 90 minutes.

    Well, not anymore. Leicester City’s footballists have had their hard-earned efforts of triumphantly winning the Premiere League rewarded by being gifted a fleet of free Mercedes by Thai billionaire, Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha.

    As you’d expect, Jamie Vardy must be having an online configurator party over the prospect of, we don’t know, a C63, S65 or even a footballer-spec G-Class.

    Unfortunately, players don’t have a choice as there’s only one flavour available: a B-Class Electric Drive. Oh dear. Still, if you live in the Leicester area, there may be 30 bargain B-Classes in the classifieds very shortly.

  • Someone has graffiti'd a Range Rover

    Breakups are hard and everyone deals with them differently. But earlier this week, someone made their feelings known quite graphically.

    Instead of sending a sarcastic text, or watching Love Actually three times over, they spray-painted "Cheater" in blood red paint on both sides of a Range Rover, "Hope she was worth it" on the rear window and bonnet, then parked it outside central London’s posh shop, Harrods.

    However, it could be a well-placed publicity stunt: a TV network in the US orchestrated a very similar prank in New York last year to promote a comedy drama series about adultery and divorce. If this isn’t a stunt, someone's in for an embarrassing trip to the garage sooner or later...

    Image credit: Klo

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  • Skoda named their new car after a bear

    The makers of the Superb and the Yeti will welcome a new large SUV to their range later this year, and true to form they have named it after a species of bear that lives on a remote island near Alaska. What else?

    The Kodiaq – a spelling inspired by the indigenous population of Kodiak Island – will measure 4.7m in length and have enough room for seven people, although it’s not known how many bears will fit inside.

    Referring to Kodiak Island’s “harsh yet fascinating landscape” in their press release, Skoda are setting the scene for an SUV that can handle all kinds of tough terrain.

    And rumour has it that the new car is easy to hunt down as well. Unique tyre tracks, an unmistakable engine sound and a distinct scent from the exhaust... these are all signs of the Kodiaq.

  • We can now see like robots

    In a manner of speaking. Location cloud company HERE has been scanning London in preparation for a time when autonomous cars will need ultra-detailed 3D maps to get about the city.

    The above image – an aerial shot of Buckingham Palace – is a representation of what their systems can ‘see’ when all of the gathered information is brought together. Pretty cool, right?

    With autonomous tech trials on the way, HERE has used its fleet of specially equipped vehicles to produce the maps. Each car is capable of collecting “700,000 3D data sections per second”, and can home in on trees, curbs and road features with an accuracy of 10cm.

    A Terminator style Skynet can’t be far way...

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  • Boaty McBoatface won’t be named Boaty McBoatface

    A few weeks ago, the internet was taken by storm by a public vote to name a new Royal Research Ship, due to set sail in 2019.

    It gained so much traction because the most popular suggestions included ‘RSS It’s Bloody Cold Here’, ‘RSS Boatimus Prime’ and the frontrunner ‘RSS Boaty McBoatface’.

    The latter got 124,000 votes, but as the result wasn’t binding, the Natural Environment Research Council have instead opted for the much more sensible ‘RSS David Attenborough’, named after the broadcasting legend who turns 90 this weekend.

    Fear not, though, democracy isn’t completely dead. Recognising the will of the people, NERC has decided to name one of the vessel’s on-board remotely operated vehicles ‘Boaty McBoatface’, ensuring the story lives on. Yay!

    Picture credit: Cammell Laird/BAS

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