This is an armoured Merc G-Wagen limo

Will Mercedes G-Wagens ever stop turning us into excitable eight-year-olds? Evidence that they won't arrives in the form of this stretched, armoured G63 AMG.

And it has not only a pistol-holder, but, for those of a more pacifist philosophy, a "special drawer" for a limited edition Montblanc pen. There's a sentence you'll probably never read on TG again.

It's the work of Inkas, an armoured vehicle company from Canada. Inkas offers a huge range of products, from strengthened Toyota Camrys to full-strength riot control trucks. This G sits somewhere in between those two, then...

Other spec highlights? Captain-size chairs, with heating, cooling and massaging functions. A satellite telly system. A full-size fridge. And a colour LED system that displays "different animations ranging from business mode to various romantic themes". Ladies love a stretched G.

At its heart this is a G63, so power is likely to be disproportionate to handling ability. Its 5.5-litre twin-turbo V8 serves up 537bhp, and given the extra weight of all that armour cladding (as well as its extra length), we'd reckon a lot of those horses will be munched up by the traction control if you arrive too ambitiously at a corner.

But that's hardly the point. Sitting in your protected bubble, filling in sudokus with your posh pen, speedy getaways simply aren't necessary. Want one in your life?