Three left (mind the taxi) and three right tightens into two right (traffic lights on green) and open four left (dodge late-night bus, get in left-hand lane), 40, narrows (indicate left, into Coventry Street), and stop at the signal (a policeman is flagging me down).
Having successfully co-driven myself around Piccadilly Circus in the Hyundai i20 WRC car, I can’t for the life of me think why the evening-all gang might want a chat. Maybe they’d spotted that I’d been a bit tardy with my downshift into the tight right, but my line past the bus where the camber changes ready for the three left down Haymarket, was, though I say so myself, spot on.
Polished boots march to my side of the car, and a stern face stoops to the polycarbonate window slot. I slide it open. It’s about the size of his mouth, which now appears to be attempting docking.
“May I ask what you think you are doing, Sir?” says the mouth.
Photography: Mark Riccioni
This feature was originally published in the March 2016 issue of Top Gear Magazine. You’ve still got time to pick up the issue your local newsagent and supermarket, or download it on your device. Available until Tuesday 23rd Feb.