Driver avoids speeding fine by pretending to be self-driving car: sits really, really still

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

A speeding motorist has avoided paying a fine by sitting really, really still while disguised as a seat after being pulled over by police officers.

Following American law enforcement’s inability to prosecute a self-driving taxi, sources said a UK motorist decided to impersonate an autonomous car by just sitting there really, really quietly while holding his breath and blending into the driver’s seat while dressed exactly like a driver's seat.

The lack of any noticeable human activity inside the cabin confounded officers who left after a few minutes.

“We caught him red-handed driving like an absolute maniac, but as soon as we pulled up to the window, we couldn’t find any noticeable signs of human life.

“Smelled a bit funky in there, sure, but otherwise nothing. We can’t yet prosecute robots, even if they’re driving like loons.

“Although, there could have been a Finnish F1 driver in the seat. We’d have never detected his vitals either.”