F1: Verstappen to start Dutch GP from farthest known galaxy to Earth

Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Max Verstappen will start the 2022 Dutch Grand Prix from the farthest observable corner of the universe, Red Bull have confirmed.

Following another grid penalty for exceeding the number of engine parts allowed over a season, senior strategists have agreed to start from the newly discovered ‘HD1’ galaxy some 13.5bn lightyears away, rather than the pitlane.

Despite starting from a place in the universe whose light signals have only just been discovered and therefore no longer exists, Red Bull remain bullish about their bold strategy paying off at the reigning world champion’s home race.

“We’ve seen strong pace on the simulations back in Milton Keynes, and we’re seeing that if we run the soft compound tyre first we can effectively start him from a place in the universe only a few hundred million years out from the Big Bang.

“By sending Max 13.5bn lightyears away to the farthest known galaxy ever detected by a telescope, we can one-stop him around lap 15 and be well within the window to fight for the lead,” the spokesperson added.

“All we ever see of stars are their old photographs,” a contemplative Verstappen added. “Which I’ll look forward to checking out once I’ve annihilated every driver and won the race with my eyes closed.”

F1 sources report Ferrari intend to counter Red Bull’s strategy with an even bolder one. “We’re going to cut a hole in the floor so Leclerc can push the car himself,” a spokesperson said.