Hollywood tariffs: Brad Pitt’s F1 movie to be refilmed in Walmart car park

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Producers on Brad Pitt’s upcoming F1 movie have announced hasty plans to reshoot pivotal racing scenes in the car park of a Walmart.

Following the bombshell imposition of 100 per cent tariffs on all movies ‘produced in foreign lands’, senior executives were hastily scrambling plans to replace every one of its international locations with something more recognisably American.

As such, stunt coordinators will mark out historic racing circuits like Monza, Silverstone and Spa using bright orange cones dotted around the famous supermarket’s parking areas, while the trolley return stations would double up as pit boxes.

“Strapping Brad Pitt into an F1 car and watching him absolutely send it through Silverstone’s Maggots, Becketts and Chapel sequence at 180mph is what everyone on this production signed up for,” a source said.

“However. Silverstone’s Maggots, Becketts and Chapel sequence is very much a production in England. England is very much not in the United States.

“Suzuka? We’ve got some of the finest wheel-to-wheel action ever committed to film. However. Suzuka. Bit Japanese. You see where we’re going with this.

“Same goes for Monza. All well and good being the ‘Temple of Speed’ and home to the tifosi. Quite Italian, though.

“Yes, none of this makes even the slightest bit of sense, but you know what makes even less sense? The 1981 Caesar’s Palace GP,” the source added.