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AGE: It’s rude to ask  

What was your first car?

A yellow 1985 Lamborghini. Matchbox. I got so much tail with it.

And your best car?

My Chevette always behaved well, but probably because she didn’t have air-conditioning or power windows or a floor, so it was up to me to make her run.

What about your worst car?

The Buick with the off-white hood and bright white body that I assembled from scraps I picked up at the junkyard.

What’s the fastest you’ve driven?

88 miles per hour. I’d have gone faster, but I ended up back in 1955.

How clean is your licence?

I’d eat off it, if that’s what you’re wondering. I also use it to slice cheese and spread butter.

Ever had a crash?

I watched the movie Crash - the one with Matt Dillon ‘cause Lois wouldn’t let me watch the dirty one with the chick from Broadcast News.

Can you drift?

Of course. The trick is to block out the noise that is Lois and think about that hot secretary from the office.

What’s understeer?

The second most important bull on the farm.

Ever changed an oil filter?

Joe’s once, at the gym. No specifics.

Which country makes the best cars?

Wow. Geography? We specifically discussed NO GEOGRAPHY questions in the pre-interview.

Have you owned an Alfa Romeo?

Um, what?

Finally, can you draw us a car? 

See my frankfurtermobile! [pic 6, above]

First car: matchbox Lambo [pic 2]

Best car: Chevette [pic 3]

Worst car: Junkyard Buick [pic 4]

Everyday car: This thing [pic 5]

Family Guy Season 12 is out now on DVD from 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

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