As lightbulb moments go, these rear lights take some beating

Once upon a time, if a car had a manually-tuneable AM radio fitted as standard, or a pair of aftermarket foglamps slung below the front bumper, it was considered well-equipped. Advanced, even. OK, we’re talking about the 1970s, but just a decade later, those TV shows reinvented in the wheel in terms of what you could pretend was possible.

Today we have cars like the Audi A7, where out-of-this-world technology is actually real.

No wonder we were so captivated by those all-action shows. Some of the tech ideas were incredible. As in: not credible. In-car cash dispensers and helicopters with ‘silent mode’ will probably never make it into production, but, in fairness, quite a lot of that 80s fiction is now rather real.

The Audi A7 has a touchscreen that allows you to operate the entertainment system and run a range of on-board computer programs. For example: where K.I.T.T has a surveillance system for gathering structural schematics of buildings and routes to dodge bad guys, the Audi has a navigation system for gathering structural schematics of buildings and routes to plot the optimum route.

This is standard kit on many cars today, but the Audi A7’s intuitive MMI Touch connectivity mapping includes Google street view, too.

Back in the Eighties, cars and ‘copters were loaded to the door frames with monitor screens. This new Audi has two of its own and both are interactive, with incredible acoustic and haptic feedback, that feels as if you’re actually pushing a button.

One connects you to entertainment functions and displays vital communications; the other doubles as the climate control screen and a keyboard, for inputting navigation destinations. You can even switch this screen between keyboard and virtual tablet mode, so you can write an address in with your finger.

Incredible to think, this is a real car, now; not a pretend car of the future. From the past.

And there’s more to the new A7 Sportback than limitless tech. This 2018 version takes what was already a handsome, powerful-looking design and turns the dial right up. From a new front grille to beefier rear wheel arches, the A7 looks quick and purposeful before you even push the start button. On the move... it’s the same. This is a big car, but it really is a quick car. With the help of an 8-speed Tiptronic gearbox, the 3.0 litre 50TDI S Line model featured here reaches 62mph in just 5.7 seconds.

And it doesn’t need turbojet afterburners or rocketboosters to do it...

Back in the Eighties, the producers of shows like Airwolf and Knight Rider must have met with some serious automotive visionaries (or they were all soothsayers). Futuristic features such as microscanners were par for the course. Crimefighters needed that stuff to be able to stay aware of anything – or anyone – in and around their car. Or bike.

So... a bit like the parking sensors and reversing cameras on the Audi, then? It’s the kind of kit you’ll find on many cars, these days, but the new A7 has a full 360˚ 3D display function, too. You can watch an actual real-time graphic of your actual A7, in your actual location. Actually moving.

Seriously: how do they do that?

And then, of course, there are those lights... What is it about 292 light bulbs that illuminate like a digital domino rally across the full width of a car? On the one hand, it’s unnecessary; on the other, it’s so damn cool.

Seriously, there’s nothing quite like getting out of this Audi and watching as you press ‘lock’ on the key. Think you will get bored of it? You won’t, and anyway, for a bit of variety, do it as you walk away from the front of the car, too. The headlamps do the same thing!

In a nutshell, this new A7 Sportback combines all the prestige of a luxury saloon, the poise and lines of a coupe and the functionality of an estate car. It’s loaded with some of the most innovative technology ever invented for a car, and combines class leading performance and economy with one of the most comfortable, relaxing driving experiences you are likely to find.

But let’s not pretend otherwise. Audi had us at those dancing lights, right?