Fail of the Century: 23 of the worst cars from 2000-2023
On this Halloween, we present a selection of automotive frights
BMW 5 Series Gran Turismo
A strong contender for the peak niche crown was 2009’s 5 Series Gran Turismo, a car looking to exploit a gap in the market only visible through an electron microscope.
Advertisement - Page continues belowBufori Geneva
Because we’ve all been there, haven’t we? That feeling when you’ve conceived and built Malaysia’s ultimate luxury car, a three-and-a-half-metre long, two-and-a-half tonne, quarter-of-a-million-quid rival to the Rolls-Royce Ghost.
Ssangyong Rodius
No one buys an MPV for its lissom good looks. They buy it for unpretentious space, and the Rodius certainly offered a lot of unpretentious space. It seated as many as 11 humans, provided all had (a) small legs and (b) no sense of shame. So is it really fair to brand the Rodius a failure on aesthetic grounds alone?
Advertisement - Page continues belowHyundai Amica
Car website etiquette obliges we must mourn the mass extinction of cheap ’n’ cheerful transport. But, as we enter the city car’s final hours, we must remember that not all of them were midget gems. For every VW Up, there was a Perodua Kelisa. Or a Proton Savvy. Or a Hyundai Amica.
2007 Mini Clubman
The 2007 Clubman was a Mini for the loving British parent who didn’t want to wedge their beloved, fragile children into the cramped rear of a regular three-door... but was completely fine with those kids exiting the car directly into a stream of fast-moving traffic.
Fiat 124 Spider
Fiat didn’t take the MX-5 and make it prettier, rortier and sharper. Instead, it gave it lumpier bodywork, wheezier turbo engines, slightly soggier handling, and a heftier price tag. The fruitier Abarth version did a little for the 124’s driving manners, but nothing for the heavy-chinned looks. Or indeed the price tag.
Lotus Europa S
Trying to GT-ify an Elise proved rather like... trying to transform a whippet into an Arabian stallion. Can’t be done, at least not without violating several important laws of ethics and nature.
Advertisement - Page continues belowClio RS MK IV
You couldn’t view the MkIV Clio RS in isolation. Because it was heir to a royal house that began with 1993’s Clio Williams (the Great Willy!) and grew from strength to strength under the masterly stewardship of the Clios 172, 182, 197 and 200.
Subaru Levorg
When the Subaru Levorg was proudly unveiled at the 2015 Geneva show, Top Gear gently pointed out that, read backwards, its name spelled out ‘GROVEL, U R A BUS’. This made the man from Subaru very upset, and our relationship with the sorry ’Vorg struggled to recover thereafter.
Advertisement - Page continues belowCitroën C6
The C6 wasn’t a fail. It was a magnificent, avante-garde, pillowy success. This was Citroën doing what it does best: cooking up oddball machines with all the comfort of a piping mug of Horlicks, and all the sporting intent of a piping mug of Horlicks.
Covini C6W
"If it was a good idea, someone else would’ve done it already." As boardroom-wall-motivational-poster slogans go, FOTC will admit this doesn’t have quite the go-get-’em-tiger zing, of, say, “if you can dream it, you can do it”, or “life begins at the end of your comfort zone”. But sometimes a bit of self-doubt, no bad thing. Take, for example, the case of the C6W, the six-wheeled supercar from Italian firm Covini Engineering.
Vauxhall Zafira VXR
What happened when Zafira and VXR were folded together, and baked into a seven-seat, 237bhp, turbocharged, front-wheel drive, torque-steering performance MPV? Glorious Hawaiian pizza, or an execrable chilli-chocolate soufflé? Fail of the Century feels that we all know the answer to that question. Still less offensive than chilli chocolate, mind.
Citroën C3 Pluriel
On the frog-eyed face of it, 2003’s C3 Pluriel was an absolute bargain. It was, according to Citroën, no fewer than five cars in one: a hatchback, a ‘sunroof saloon’, a cabrio, a spider, and a roadster pickup. Costing around 12 grand at launch, that meant you were paying a mere £2,400 per car. Quelle bonne affaire!
Aston Martin Cygnet
The Cygnet wasn’t conceived, designed and built as a true Aston Martin. It was a Toyota iQ with a chinny new grille and a bullock-worth of leather upholstery. An exercise in badge engineering with the cynical aim of lowering Aston’s average fleet emissions.
Honda CR-Z
The one thing Honda forgot to include in its sporty hybrid... was any sportiness. With the petrol and electric motors giving it their all, the CR-Z mustered a mere 121bhp, and slightly less torque than a Nutribullet. Zero to 60 required around 10 seconds, and a long stretch of road.
Renault Vel Satis
Some have dubbed the Vel Satis a sales flop. We beg to differ. Nearly 1,300 of us wise British souls bought Vel Satum (yes, that is the official plural). Do you know how many people ever bought a Bugatti Veyron? Four hundred and fifty. And we don’t see you calling that a failure, do we?
Volkswagen Phaeton
Absolutely no one actually wanted to buy a money no object luxury limousine with a Volkswagen badge on the front. Sales were catastrophic. The Phaeton was quietly euthanised, the best-engineered failure in history.
Chevrolet SSR
The SSR’s body was a Dali-esque fever dream from almost every angle, and its performance proved as laboured as its design: despite packing a 5.3-litre V8, the weighty SSR struggled to break eight seconds for the 0–60mph run. Oh, and it cost $42,000 at launch.
Hummer H2
If you’re gonna do something, do it with conviction. While the original Hummer H1 – the civilian version of the Gulf War-era military Humvee – was a vulgar, tasteless abomination, at least it went all-in on its vulgarity.
Peugeot 308 CC
The chubby Pug’s handling was as doughy as its design, while the rear diffuser arrangement was utterly inexplicable: what with 300kg of roof stacked atop your tailpipes, did you really need any more downforce back there?
Infiniti M37
In 2008, Infiniti launched in the UK with a bold intention: to provide a tech-laden Japanese alternative to the German exec fare served up by BMW, Audi and Mercedes. Trouble was, as Infiniti had perhaps failed to spot, British buyers already had a tech-laden Japanese alternative to the German exec fare, etc, etc... in the shape of Lexus.
Youabian Puma
The Youabian Puma was a vehicle. It was 20 feet long and eight feet across. It weighed 3.5 tonnes and had a folding hard-top. Somewhere in its midst resided the remains of a Volvo C70.
McLaren X-1
McLaren badge, yes, but like no McLaren you’ve ever seen. Like no car you’ve ever seen. You try to scream, no sound comes out. What is this? A dream? A nightmare? No such luck. This is real. This is the McLaren X-1.