Six car brand products that don’t exist… but really should

Bugatti’s signature grille is known as the horseshoe. Many Bugatti owners also own horses, or at least large countries that contain many horses. These billionaire horses deserve better than clanking around on regular iron horseshoes. Carbon fibre equine Bugatti footwear. Let’s make it happen. Working title: the Neighron.

Surely the company responsible for a fan that sticks its Spéirling to the track with 2,000kg of downforce can finally create the hand drier that actually dries hands? Sure, those hands may no longer be attached to your wrists by the time you’re done, but heck, they’ll be dry.

The Alpine F1 team has chewed through – to the best of our recollection – three-dozen team principals in the last five years. You want an efficient ingress/egress system, they’re the folk who know how.

It’s the obvious brand extension. Traditional British purveyor of traditional British lightweight cars moves into traditional British meatstuffs. Sure, it’s ham they found round the back of the Lotus factory in the 1970s, but it’s still good!

White, brown or wholemeal. Yes these are just cheap puns now, and what of it?

A duster, for dusting your dusty Dacia. OK, we’re leaving now.