Top Gear's Top 9: fantasy tow cars!

The Viper's 600lb ft isn't the meatiest torque output in this list, but its massive 8.4-litre, naturally-aspirated V10 is surely the least stressed engine this side of a cruise liner's. Unlikely to be great in a crosswind tankslapper.

Torque is the reason AMG persists with V12 versions of its mightiest products. The bi-turbo V8s are actually quicker, but there's something beguiling about conducting 783lb ft of near-silent surge.

Fun fact, towing fans: Tesla's SUV is the only EV currently certified for towing. Most EV makers don't condone it due to range and wear 'n' tear grumbles. The Model X, meanwhile, can shift a record-breaking 2,250kg. Ludicrous.

The grand old Mulsanne's 6.75-litre bi-turbo V8 'only' makes 530bhp, but its effortless torque reserve - a majestic 811lb ft - truly dwarfs other luxury saloons. And it's a much less vulgar towcar than a Bentayga, don't you think?

Probably quite tricky to attach a towbar to that giant central exhaust tunnel. But when you've 1,180lb ft on tap, needs must. Incidentally, the current caravan land speed record is 141.9mph. Any billionaires fancy a challenge?

Another handy candidate for hypertowing is Sweden's gearbox-free, hybrid ultra-GT. The Regera's electricity-augmented V8 stamps out a colossal 1,465lb ft - five times the Caravan Club's 2018 favourite, the Skoda Kodiaq diesel.

We're perilously close to consumer advice here, so let's get back on track. Not only is the 750lb ft superVette a contender for towing, that huge rear wing is an ideal lashing point for extra tow ropes. (GM may disagree).

Hurrah! Britain has built a Ferrari 812 Superfast rival. Sure, the Brit has more weight and less power. And it's slower... but its 664lb ft minces the Italian's 530lb ft. Ask anyone, torque is what you use on the road. Especially for towing a Cygnet.

Jaguar Land Rover fits pretty much the same 4x4 powertrain in its pretty two-door Jag as it does in the ultimate Range Rover. So it figures that the F-Type SVR should be just as adept at towing. Strangely, Jag isn't returning our calls to find out if this is true.