Has this Nissan GT-R become an immaculate paperweight?

Internationally renowned photographer Mark has been working with TG for many, many years. When not taking photos he’s buying inappropriate cars. Here he shares his addiction with the world...

Any car you can’t drive is just an expensive paperweight. Those were my exact words when introducing the GT-R back in December 2020. And I said them with every intention of being some holier-than-thou missionary sent by God to ensure car culture remained good and true.

But on the seventh day, I started building a car that’d become exactly that; a really expensive paperweight. And just like that, all those other lessons and teachings could be disregarded for being complete and utter nonsense. Although if we’re pulling the religion card, perfect time to say, “do as I say, not as I do”.

Anyway, that’s more than enough to keep the BBC’s ethics department busy. Because I find myself in a bit of a pickle here. Unsurprisingly, the GT-R has got so far out of hand from its initial winter ‘refresh’ I’m not entirely sure what to do with it next.

Bolting it all back together is a good start. But like a Nineties R&B song about infidelity, I never meant for it to go this far. The GT-R – having started life as a weekend fling – has just turned up six months pregnant and said it’s keeping the baby. So, before things get any weirder, let’s look at the positives.

There are 300 of them. That’s how many hours have gone into the paintwork courtesy of Andy and the team at Spike’s Vintage Restorations. And while that sounds like a lot – it is – I’m amazed it hasn’t taken them more given how ludicrous the quality and finish is.

It is brain-meltingly good. It’s still the original Bayside Blue – but the depth and shine goes way beyond any finish you’d ever expect to see from the factory. Out of those hours, more than half were spent on the preparation. They spent 60 hours – that’s two and a half days – just on the flat and polishing. It is hands down the best paintwork I’ve seen, short of something you’d see at Pebble Beach... which Andy probably painted anyway.

Here’s the thing, Andy’s done such an incredible job it means that every other component going back on the GT-R needs to be equally as good. And that’s bad news for Steve at SR Autobodies doing the reassembly, and even worse news for my asthmatic bank account.

Every nut, bolt and piece of plastic trim is now being replaced with new items. Every clip, fastener and interior part? Yup, that’s gotta be new or refurbished too. Even the hoses, brake lines and wiring loom aren’t free of this approach. Just because they’re not immediately visible doesn’t mean they’re exempt.

The especially crazy thing is, it’s entirely self-inflicted. You don’t have to use new parts; you could just throw on what came off. And that would have been fine had it not been stripped to a bare shell and resprayed, but given the work that’s already gone into it, I can’t help but feel a weird sense of responsibility to make it as good as humanly possible.

Rightly or wrongly, I’m now the proud owner of a very expensive – and very shiny – paperweight. And if that’s how the GT-R will remain from now on, it may be the best paperweight imaginable.