The Barbie Movie II to be bloodthirsty revenge film following theft of her Corvette
Second instalment of hit movie will honour John Wick legacy
Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring
The second instalment of The Barbie Movie will be a dark, bloodthirsty revenge feature depicting the titular character’s search for the villains who stole her beloved Mk1 Chevrolet Corvette.
Insiders confirmed to TopGear.com that following the runaway success of the summer blockbuster, producers were busy working on a fresh new direction for the much-loved character which ditches the progressive, nuanced message of the original for one involving guns, mixed martial arts and her pink C1 ‘Vette.
Tentatively titled The Barbie Movie II: Oderint dum metuan, the producers were keen to capitalise on the film's enormous box office returns and pay homage to the John Wick franchise by having Barbie take down scores of criminals following the theft of her incredibly rare and valuable Fifties muscle car.
“The Barbie Movie is a self-aware, innovative and feelgood subversion of the iconic toy that appealed to audiences young and old and took us all by surprise this summer,” an insider said, “so we’re going to subvert it even more and basically turn her into a candy-coloured John Wick.
“Because Barbie is already a kick-ass doll beloved by all, and now we want her to literally kick ass. Loads of it. For about two and half hours straight in a blood-soaked revenge epic because some scumbags stole her beautiful Corvette.”
Responding to criticisms that ripping off John Wick was a lazy follow-up for a movie that broke new creative ground, the insider said: “Have you never seen Speed 2: Cruise Control?
“Anyway, there’s a writer’s strike. We’ll just get some AI to sort it.”
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