Cadillac to rebrand as ‘Qadillaq’ amid major EV push

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Luxury American carmaker Cadillac will officially change its name to ‘Qadillaq’ in 2024, an insider has revealed to TopGear.com.

Company executives will also be banned from using the ‘c’ and ‘k’ letters on their official Cadillac computer keyboards and work phones to “ensure qonsistent messaging” across the brand, the insider added.

The radical new naming strategy is a direct result of the storied US manufacturer releasing a raft of new electric cars including the Lyriq, Celestiq and new Optiq SUV, and will almost certainly be a seismic blow to the world’s autocorrect programmers and their sanity.

“We felt it imperative to provide some qlarity into our naming struqture,” the insider told TopGear.com. “This will be helpful as we prepare to launqh a full onslaught of electriq qars, truqs and qrossovers over the next few years.”

When asked why the electric Escalade IQ didn’t follow suit, the insider added: “The high-ups tried to get us to rename that one Esqaladiq, but we’d already finished the tooling for the badges and… well, you know, budget stuff.”

The insider added Cadillac executives were currently discussing a refresh of its current line-up to better align with the new policy. “We’re thinking of stuff like the Qadillaq QT5 Blaqwing. Makes perfect sense, no?”

Cadillac will look to expand its EV offering following the rebrand with new models including the Mystiq, Platoniq and Horrifiq.