Pothole leads to alternative dimension where TVRs work, scientists confirm

Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

A comically large hole in the ground thought to be a pothole is in fact the entrance to an alternative dimension where all TVRs are reliable, scientists have confirmed.

The crater discovered in Kettering – now a historical landmark dating back millennia – was set to be filled in when experts inadvertently discovered a parallel universe.

“It was only half a metre deep so we’d had it flagged as ‘miscellaneous – non-urgent repair’,” explained a council worker. “However, when I went to fill it I discovered a holographic message that had come from a realm where every TVR made in the last century worked without fault.

“The message also said that in this parallel dimension, Fernando Alonso makes good choices about his F1 teams, BMW drivers keep a respectful distance and the M25 is a normal, functioning motorway.

“They’re waiting for the Tesla Roadster too, however.”

Scientists are now trying to find a means of extracting the interdimensional traveller so that they can return to their family, “but there aren’t any potholes in that wonderland to bring them back and anyway, they’re having too much fun in a fully functioning Cerbera to care,” the insider confirmed.