GWM Jolion Pro review

What you really ought to be asking is ‘Should I be buying one of these at all?’ To which the answer must surely be ‘Not in a million years’. But let’s play hypotheticals and presume you're in that gap between losing your marbles and having to give power of attorney to a loved one.

The Jolion Pro retails from £23,995. That gets you into the entry-spec Premium model, which comes with 17in alloys, a 10.25in touchscreen, Apple CarPlay and Android Auto, voice recognition, keyless entry, a rear-view camera and parking sensors, plus adaptive cruise control.

Next up is the Lux trim for £27,995. That adds 18s, the leatherette interior, an electrically adjustable driver’s seat, heated front seats, a bigger 12.3in screen, 360-degree camera and LED headlights.

Finally there’s Ultra. In come roof rails, a panoramic sliding sunroof (you can open it with the voice control), a wireless phone charger, a ventilated driver’s seat, head-up display, front parking sensors and ambient lighting. That one’s £29,995.

There’s no upgrading the engine, so at least the configurator’s simple. White paint is free, or you can upgrade to black, grey or blue for £595. That’s your only option. Along with walking to the nearest Dacia dealership instead.

Haval includes a five-year warranty with one year of free breakdown cover, while the battery is protected for the first eight years or 100,000 miles.

Is it safe?

It hasn’t been Euro NCAP crash tested yet, but unlike the Skywell BE11 (which makes do with minimum safety gear), you do at least get a full suite of driver aids. Think lane keep assistance, traffic sign recognition, front and rear collision warning, automatic emergency braking, blind spot detection and driver fatigue detection. Hence that camera on the A-pillar. Big Brother is making sure you stay awake.

Haval needn’t have bothered with that last one: the sheer number of alerts to remind you of the speed limit, or that the speed limit has just changed, is like listening to an ice cream van's merry jingle re-sampled into a 90s techno classic. Bong! Boop! Beep!