Review: the LOUD Mini Cooper S Works 210

What’s this, apart from another hot Mini with a long and confusing name?

The (inhale deeply) Mini Cooper S Works 210 is, quite simply, a faster, tuned-up Cooper S. Power has swelled from 192bhp to 210bhp thanks to an ECU tweak and improved engine breathing.

All very lovely, but the Works is just 12bhp behind the Mini JCW, which costs £23,155. This hotted up Cooper S, meanwhile, is £1,195 cheaper. In short, look away now if you’ve just bought a Mini JCW.

That’s a pretty small niche, and I’d be a bit miffed if I’d just bought a JCW…

Don’t get hung up on the branding whathaveyou. While the salesmen loosen their collars and wonder how they’ll shift JCWs, we’ll concentrate on what’s been thrown at the Works 210. Chiefly, it’s a promisingly titled package called (inhale really deeply) ‘John Cooper Works Pro Tuning Kit’.

The JCWPTK’s headline act is a devilishly loud twin-pipe exhaust. The crackles on the overrun are crisper and more plentiful, and the bllaaarrtt when you put your foot down is throbbing and addictive. And it’s a clever exhaust too.

How can an exhaust be brainy?

Instead of a loud tailpipe button like you might find in a Porsche Cayman or Jaguar F-Type, the Mini does the opposite – it’s outrageously burbly and attention-seeking until you click the ‘Track Mode’ button on the Bluetooth-connected key fob.  This hushes the exhaust, so the car can pass track day noise tests.

It’s also handy if the long ear of the law appears in an onrushing layby. Or, think of it as a temporary stealth setting for early starts. There’s word that the dumbed down track mode allows Mini a loophole to make the car strictly louder than is, er, allowed on the public road. But you didn’t hear that from us.

That’s it? Some more poke and rortier, naughtier exhaust? Hardly ground-breaking…

True, but the JCWPTK’s had a blinding effect on the Cooper S which, as standard, lacks sparkle. Sure it’s quick, but the 2.0-litre turbo engine doesn’t rev like the old 1.6 cars did – in fact it’s more strained and laboured at the top end than a boggo Cooper’s 1.5-litre triple. 

It also sounds contrived, as the speakers desperately try to masquerade some gusto as the engine reluctantly accelerates. Adding a dollop of tone and an orchestra of volume helps no end, and the token power bump seems to have freed up the motor’s inertia. Drive half a mile and you’ll discover this Mini’s got some mojo back.

Is it fast?

Really fast. Mini hasn’t actually revealed official performance figures, but if it’s anything meaningful behind a JCW (6.3sec to 62mph, 153mph) I’d be astounded. In fact, the Works has better traction than the JCWs I’ve driven, and not only does it hook up better, but it sounds like you’re accelerating twice as hard. So it’s just as fast and far more exciting. This is a winning combo in a cheeky little hot hatch. 

Under the Works’ JCW-esque costume of ugly bloated bumpers, there’s no extra chassis tweaks – the chassis is regular Cooper S. But again, the whole car seems to have been elevated by its newfound energy, so we’re getting back to that delectable up-on-its toes agility. The test car had the adaptive dampers (a £375 option), but time and again I found myself leaving the Sport mode alone and opting for the less firm (read: sillier) cornering stance of the standard mode.

We need to talk about the F-word.

Fiesta? As in ST? Yes, it still casts a long shadow, but this Mini’s the closest yet to toppling it. The Works isn’t as mobile at the rear, which a lot of people might like, but it lives to be trail-braked. Bleed off the brakes on the way into a bend and the weight transfer you get is just spot on – not unnerving, but alive beneath you. 

Maximum go-kart feel,? No, of course not, because go-karts don’t have front-wheel drive or weigh 1,235kg.  Like I said, ignore the clumsy marketing. This car’s a little riot.

But the Fiesta’s better value, right?

Yup, you could have a Fiesta ST and the Mountune kit for several grand less than the Works. The Mini is obviously a higher quality product, though, and it’s very, very fast. While you wouldn’t call it a bargain, it’s the first time for ages I’ve driven a fast Mini and actually thought it represented good value for money. 

But it’s £21,960. That’s £2,980 over a Cooper S for a bit more power, an exhaust and a bodykit...

Granted, the argument for the Works stumbles quite severely there. On paper, it’s a niche-filler that makes little sense but having driven it, it’s difficult not to reason this is the best fast Mini of them all. £21k for so much performance and an overall sense of in-yer-face fun that’s been missing from Minis as they’ve got bigger and more serious isn’t too disagreeable. Unless you’ve just got a JCW, perhaps.