Mercedes-AMG GLC 53 review: performance goes head-to-head with the laws of physics

What is it?

AMG’s newest sports SUV and SUV ‘Coupe’. So a GLC (SUV, C-Class analogue) with a ‘53’ designation. So fast but not too fast, spicy but not nuclear. This is your Madras rather then vindaloo.

AMG bills it as having a ‘high-revving six-cylinder for even greater driving dynamics and emotion’, which is faintly oxymoronic in a high-riding SUV. But let’s find out whether that’s true.

What about that motor?

It’s a 3.0-litre straight six with a traditional turbo driven by exhaust gas and an extra electric compressor to plump up the throttle response. So technically twin-charged. Some 445bhp and a natural 443lb ft, with an available overboost of 472lb ft for ten seconds. It’s also been re-tuned for that extra response and a more revvy nature, driving through a nine-speed auto and that lovely Mercedes 4Matic+ all-wheel drive.

Hit the right options buttons and it also gets a limited-slip diff for the rear axle and a drift/race mode. Again, which feels a little bit odd in a high-riding SUV.

There’s also an integrated starter-generator – basically a steroidal starter – inserted into the transmission bellhousing that provides that overboost function with 17kW of power (23bhp) and 151lb ft of torque. After that, it’s more conventional adaptations to bigger power: new cylinder head, re-profiled intake and exhaust ports, new intake and bigger intercooler. 

So it’s fast, then?

Not to be sniffed at; 0-62mph in 4.2 seconds, an electronically-limited top speed of 250km/h. Unless you happen to option the AMG Driver’s Package (the other is the AMG Dynamic Plus Package with the limited-slip diff et al), and then you get 168mph capability.

The figures are dead-on – even a little underplayed – and it’s rock-solid at 155mph on a soft-limiter. Hello German Autobahn. You’ll be haulin’ ass and suckin’ gas though; efficiency at those sorts of speeds drops significantly.

Is it a true sports car?

No. Not a bit of it. It’s a fast and capable SUV, but a little uptight on the roads we’ve thus far tested it on. Honestly, it feels like it’s going to be a bit of a jigglefest on a UK backroad. It’s firm on a very smooth German Autoroute, so with the average road surface in the UK looking like a part-tarmac’d battlefield, it's probably going to be a bit of a chunky thing to hold in a straight line, even in the softest settings. Yes there’s AMG Ride Control suspension, but this car is canted towards the sporty end.

Of course, all that stiffness means it’s more than capable of those Autobahn lunges, but that’s not really the flex everyone seems to think it is. There are people who use their cars like this, but the Venn diagram of those who like pop ’n’ bang maps and those that run 150mph commuting styles is likely just two circles on different pages of the book. And yes, it’s got some crackle and pop engineered in. It appeals to a good portion of the market, but… well…

As far as handling goes, the 4Matic+ all-wheel drive is supremely competent, intelligently shuffling torque around between axles as necessary. In the dry, you never even notice it. Stick it in Drift mode and it even becomes entirely rear-wheel drive with a lockable rear diff, but the opportunity didn’t present itself to test that.

If it had, the excellent brakes would have come in handy – as it was, they were more than capable of repeated hard pulldowns from Very Fast on the motorway, so they should be able to stop the car impressively at more normal speeds.

The ‘box is great, too. Various shift strategies ranging through the modes of Dynamic Select, which range from Slippery and Comfort, through Sport and Sport+ to Individual. The Race mode only opens up if you’ve optioned the right tick box/Package. Honestly? It’s probably a couple of modes too many, but you can just stick it in Sport and it seems to be a good compromise.

The ‘box can also access manual operation via the galvanised paddles behind the wheel. Okay, so you’ll lose track slightly of which gear you’re in, but just work with the torque and it doesn’t really matter. Pickup is great, grunt plentiful and it’s a rapid vehicle, without having that slightly punishing edge.

The steering feels necessarily vague – it's precise, but feels removed to operate. Interestingly, at three-point turn time, the rear-wheel steering (2.5 degrees) does tighten up the attitude – it’s surprisingly biddable in small spaces.

What about the rest?

More intentional, but not flash. Bigger front splitter and roof spoiler at the back, little flicks and diffusers. Obviously different badging and big 21in wheels. It’s subtle enough. Inside, you get better seats and a few add-ons if you option some of the other packages like ‘Golden Accents’ or ‘Night Package’ (with exterior mortification in, you guessed it, black). Pretty calm, in other words.

So what’s the verdict?

Angry SUVs are always a little bit confusing – the body style has the ability to do practical comfort very nicely, but then the obsession with performance sets up a direct confrontation with the physics.

Basically SUVs can do some things really well; going fast in an efficient manner isn’t usually one of them. So you get performance via caveat. It can be exceptional in any arena ‘for an SUV’, but it’s not ever going to beat a car a foot lower on tyres that aren’t tall.

Full disclosure; the test routes the GLC 53 has so far been tested on were long but lightly unchallenging – it needs a proper test in the UK to really get a handle on this one. So far, it seems to be a lightly spicy, slightly hard-riding take on the genre. A solid effort, but not one that makes you reach immediately for the keys.