Audi RS7 - long-term review

Who would’ve thought a five-door, five-seat coupé Sportback from Audi would cause such a commotion? Not me. But never have I ever received so much attention in a car as I have in our brand new (literally brand new – it arrived with less than 50 miles on the clock and the freshest-smelling Alcantara in history) RS7.

“Mate, that thing is a monster,” shouted a black cabbie on day one. “It’s gaw-jus... FLIPPIN' GAWWWJUS,” said someone else who obviously had jellied eels for breakfast. Over the last month I’ve had kids do the international hand signal for “give it a rev”– which, naturally, I am more than happy to oblige, allowing the incredibly vocal, smouldering 4.0-litre twin-turbo V8 to bark out of the sports exhaust. I’ve had camera phones pop out of windows down the motorway, and someone even asked if it could be in their music video. It’s mad. Especially considering the RS7 has always been somewhat of an outlier in the RS range.

See, it’s not as rarefied or celebrated as its bootier estate brother, the RS6. It’s also not as attainable as the social media and popcorn exhaust map favourite, the RS3. But, unbeknown to me, the RS7 has got some sort of mafioso status as the don of the streets. It’s pugnacious (40mm wider than a standard A7), powerful (621bhp), and a proper visual bruiser. Especially in our rather fantastic, underrated, and surprisingly cheap spec.

Well, cheap for RS7s. The newer, more powerful Performance is now the only RS7 you can get in the UK, and you can’t get one for less than six figures. You’ve got three choices; the £116,200 (before options) entry-level Performance, the 'Carbon Black' trim costing £124,175, and the fully loaded 'Carbon Vorsprung' a faintly terrifying £132,625. We’ve gone for the entry variant with £7k's worth of options. Which is pretty conservative considering a two-tone interior costs £8.5k. I’m glad we didn’t spec that.

What I am glad we did spec is the colour: Grenadine Red Metallic. It’s an awesome deep red that pops in the sun but may look a bit brown in winter. Like the car, it’s understated and brooding – and quite un-Audi. This is paired with matte grey accents and a smattering of black badging. What draws everyone's eyes and sets out the Audi’s performance stall are the gorgeous 22-inch five-spoke Y-style matte grey alloys. They’re £2,250 and worth every penny. Especially because they save 5kg per corner. But they’re also terrifying to take anywhere near a kerb.

Other boxes that were ticked include the £1,525 City Assist Pack (aka pre-sense if someone’s going to rear-end you, walk in front of you, and lane change assist and self-parking), £1,950 Tour Pack (adaptive cruise, auto high beam, and lane departure warning) and Sport Suspension Plus (£1,300) which adds a combination of hydraulically cross-linked dampers and steel coil springs. But we’ll get on to the difference they make in another report.

Inside, it’s all standard. And quite inky with black Valcona leather with contrast red honeycomb stitching (very nice), black carpets, roof, and dash. Being so dark in there, I do wonder if ticking the £1,750 panoramic glass sunroof would’ve been a good idea. And the interior is well laid out with the right balance of buttons and screens. It’s just a shame they’re a bit laggy and you sit too high.

The plan for the RS7 is to do quite a lot: leggy European travel, the day-to-day, and to test out all the bits the engineers have had long nights over. Like getting a two-tonne plus-sized model that drives all four wheels through an eight-speed automatic gearbox, and can send as much as 85 per cent of power sent to the rear axle to dance and feel agile. I’d also like to say I’m keen to try the 3.4 sec 0-62mph time and 174mph VMAX. But, having now successfully run it in, I’ve done that - on a runway with my dad in the passenger seat - already.