BMW M5 - long-term review

I’ve been spending a bit of time with the M5's opposition recently, which is always an interesting thing to do when you’ve been exposed to one car a lot. And potentially unsettling. What if you realise you’ve chosen poorly?

Luckily I’m not financially exposed, I’m just here to help guide you through the pitfalls of choosing the right hyper-wagon – in this case Audi’s RS6 and Porsche’s fastest, 771bhp Panamera. Let’s begin by looking at what sets them apart from each other.

Best looking: Audi. Best powertrain: Porsche. Best handling: Porsche. Best mile-munching: Porsche (it really does cover all bases). Best noise: Audi. Best load carrier: Audi. Best seats: Porsche. Best aircon: Audi (this has mattered over the summer). Best cabin: Porsche. Best fuel efficiency: Porsche. Best app: BMW.

So given its main advantage is the app on my phone the M5 was the wrong choice and I should have had the Porsche, right? Oh, if only things were that simple. Not least because I left a key attribute out. Best value: BMW.

Did you know Audi charges £120,195 for an RS6 these days? None of the BMW’s plug-in hybrid complexity and technology and yet Audi charges eight grand more. Profit margins must be healthy. The Porsche Panamera Turbo S E-Hybrid has pretty much the same technical composition as the BMW (twin turbo V8, electric motor, 4WD etc) yet it’s £55,000 more expensive. And you can’t have a Sport Turismo estate anymore which is a crying shame.

Let’s boil it down a bit more. The RS6 is a simple car, not just its underpinnings, but as a proposition. Looks good, goes hard, makes a lovely noise, has the most logical cabin and screens, is largely vice-free and easy to get on with. However as we discovered when we twin-tested the RS7 against the M5 saloon back at the start of the year, if you’re looking for an extra degree of engagement, it lets you down.

It's a bit superficial. It torque steers like a front driver, the suspension is relatively soft even when you ramp it up, and it struggles to keep control of itself. I’ve run a couple of RS6s before, including the current generation car, and although it did the job for my family perfectly well and I always loved looking at it, overall it left me a bit cold. But then I really value crisp, sorted dynamics. If you just love the image and thunder, have the RS6.

At this point I’m obviously going to recommend the Porsche. After all, I love dynamics and above I’d already pointed out it handles and rides better than either rival. And it really does. The Turbo S comes as standard with Active Ride. This replaces the anti-roll bars with hydraulics at each suspension corner to control not only bump and rebound, but also squat, dive and to counter lean through corners.

Adjustments are made 13 times a second. Unlike similar hydraulic suspension systems in the Range Rover Sport SV and McLaren 750S, the Porsche doesn’t have high-pressure rails running all over the car, but individual electric motors and a high-power battery pack. Which is why Active Ride is limited to the 800-volt Taycan or 400-volt Panamera E-Hybrid.

It drives immaculately. So polished, so relentlessly, creamily slick on every road I drove it on, it’s unbelievable. The primary ride, the long undulation stuff, is ridiculously supple, while the secondary ride maintains effortless control. It glides along, but digs into corners if you demand more. The woofling V8 engine somehow isn’t in keeping with the chassis polish, the car’s image, but it’s a delightful surprise. And it's fast enough to accelerate the phone out of the induction charger if you don’t close the lid.

Here's a car that can legit act the limo or the annihilator of B-roads. Apart from its size. It’s as big as the M5 (I know I’m a stuck record on this, but it offends me every time I drive it or try to park it). Bet it doesn’t weigh as much, I can hear you saying. Sorry, 2,420kg on the weighbridge. Putting all these hybrid elements into a car clearly can’t be done lightly, even if you’re Porsche.

Cracking seat and driving position, nice firm, thin-rimmed steering wheel, lovely clear instruments and a wrap-around environment that puts both rivals to shame. And this is all great, I admire it hugely, reckon that in its primary role of executive autobahn dismantler it has no peers. But for me, in little ol’ UK, I want something less aloof, more overt and, well, characterful.

Something with a few more flaws in other words. The M5 is the ballsier car. The suspension jiggles when stiffened up, the gearchanges thump through, the powertrain hurls as much torque as possible at the back axle with amusing side effects. And this all makes it an encouraging companion.

So of the three, given freedom of choice, it would be the M5. There’s loads I’d like to change about it (not least stick it in a hot wash), but I’ve accepted it for what it is now. And every time I see an RS6 (aren’t there loads of them about?), I wish BMW understood stance and simplicity as well as Audi.