DS Automobiles No 8 - long-term review

You want weird? We’ve got weird. Amongst a raft of identikit Chinese SUVs that you struggle to tell apart with a laminated cheat-sheet and foot-high signage, DS Automobiles weighs in with the saloon-o-barge No.8. It’s not a saloon, but it’s not quite an SUV, either. Quite what it is remains up for debate, apart from the, y’know, uncompromising quantities of weird.

The bones are more prosaic than the styling/pitch, Stellantis’ STLA ‘Medium’ platform stretched over a 97.2kWh battery in our case (101kWh gross). There’s a smaller, FWD 74kWh version with 230bhp, and a FWD 260bhp one with the big battery for max range. So that’s Peugeot’s E-3008 and E-5008, the Vauxhall Grandland II, that sort of thing. Except DS has had its wicked way with the mission statement, and produced something that feels much more singular. Whether that’s a good or a bad thing is why it’s turned up in the TG Garage, for a more thorough appraisal.

So our car is a mid-spec ‘Etoile’ AWD with a few upgrades. That’s 345bhp, 377lb ft and 0-62mph in 5.4 seconds, two motors, 20in ‘Lyrae’ alloys. Range is option-rated at well over 400-miles, but in our first 500 miles at middling temps (8-15-degrees centigrade), we’ve been seeing a solid 320 miles of real-world. Time has been spent - in the first three weeks I’ve seen over 1,500 miles, several public charge points and a whole host of opinions, which we shall be digging into over the next few months. This is not a car you fail to have an opinion on.

It comes complete with ‘Active Scan’ suspension that reads the road ahead through a series of cameras for ultimate comfort - which so far has shown very little inclination to either actively scan or indeed make the car more comfortable rather than just soft - Drive Assist 2.0 (need to dig into that one a bit more), LED everything including DS ‘Lightblade’ baubles on the front, ‘Pixelvision’ LED shuttered lights (which you can’t switch off and dazzle 40 per cent of other road users), 3D rear lights a foot long and lots of nice interior bits.

It’s a big car, with a big boot and decent rear legroom, but it’s not a Tardis. Intriguing is the first word that springs to mind, but so far, it’s going to need quite a lot more attention to figure out what the hell is actually going on here, and make sure it’s in the right modes for what we’re trying to achieve. The big takeaways so far is that it’s really comfy on a smooth road, less so on anything bumpy, loves understeer (though it’s in no way positioned as a performance car), some of the buttons are less than reactive and everyone asks what it is. There’s going to be plenty to talk about.

Options on this one lift the basic Etoile price of £63,290 to £69,190, and they include Crystal Pearl paint, the Alezan brown Nappa leather interior, extended duotone (that black bonnet and roof), the Absolute Comfort pack and the massive, laminated panoramic roof with fancy stripes in the glass. I’m still undecided on the vaguely nautical tiller - sorry, steering wheel - it’s not managed to charge at anything more than 60kW thus far on public chargers from a peak of 160, the suspension is confusing and it costs quite a bit.

But it’s deeply interesting and I’m overjoyed that DS is trying something a bit different - not everything needs to be ‘sporty’ and derive it’s self-worth from increasingly pointless, neck-snapping 0-62mph times, and a car that focuses on comfort and a calm diving environment is to be applauded. This ain’t one for the boy racers, so let’s see how it does in the hands of a middle-aged man with a dodgy hip.