Vauxhall Astra Sports Tourer GSE - long-term review

It’s not a GTE. It’s not a GTE. It’s not a GTE. A mantra that needs repeating whenever you step near this shiny new Astra GSE. Because while that badge immediately torque steers memories of hot old Astras directly into your brain, you have to remind yourself that This Is Not A Hot Astra.

So what is it, then? On paper, the most powerful version (hence the GSE moniker) in estate guise – what Vauxhall calls a ‘Sports Tourer’. Which makes it a range-topping, plug-in hybrid version of a handsome, practical family car… with a rather large footprint.

Sitting behind that distinctive ‘Vizor’ front end, Vauxhall’s signature dish, if you will, sits a 1.6-litre turbocharged petrol engine delivering 176bhp to the front wheels. An old Astra VXR made that much from its stereo.

However, there’s also electricity bolted into the GSE, in the form of an e-motor drawing charge from a 12.4kWh lithium-ion battery (the latter positioned underneath the boot floor). That motor produces 106bhp on its own, and together it doesn’t make 282bhp because that’s not how calibration works, but instead… 223bhp.

So it’s ‘chirpy’, rather than ‘watch out, I’m about to understeer into that hedge’. Vauxhall says the GSE badge – short for ‘Grand Sport Electric’ – is its sporty sub brand, able to ‘redefine the performance Zeitgeist’. Claims of 0-62mph in 7.5s (what a Golf GTI managed back in 1904), and a top speed of 146mph, don’t exactly bolster that cause. Not expecting LaFerrari heroics here, but is that quick enough to justify an entire sub-brand?

Anyway, where it elevates itself over lesser, punier Astra Sport Tourers is in its chassis. Or rather, lowers itself. Because it’s 10mm lower thanks to ‘unique’ springs and fancy ‘frequency selective’ Koni dampers tuned for both ‘wait that hedge is actually getting closer’ dynamics to straight-up crushing motorways. We’ll find out in due course if they’re up to the job, but it’s certainly a statement of intent.

As are the enormous seats. Yes, they’ve been certified by Germany’s independent ‘AGR’ – ‘Aktion Gesunder Rücken’, the campaign for healthy backs – and have already proven to be enormously comfortable… from the neck down. It’s a fixed headrest, angled forwards, which takes some getting used to. As does the infotainment setup, comprised of a 10in driver display and 10in colour touchscreen. Jabbing away at it without reading the manual results in a fiddly experience – thankfully there are physical button shortcuts for the major operations.

Anyway, it looks good. Smart. Subdued. Not at all like a Hot Astra, but that’s fine because it’s a new generation performance car, which means it’s also supposed to be economical and light on its feet. On the former, we’re already seeing just under 80mpg (on mixed routes) using the battery and engine, which is amazing. On the latter? It weighs over 1.6 tonnes.

So this is the new face and shape of Hot Vauxhalls. Is it a little conflicted, then? Unsure of what it wants to be? We’ve got a bit of time to get under the skin of this handsome, range-topping Vauxhall, so let us know what you want to know in the bit below. Oh, right, that bit: it costs… £44k.