Ten things we learned this week: 16 October 2015 edition

Tragic news! Earlier this week, some thieving gits pilfered the greatest RS6 to ever grace the planet – skier Jon Olsson’s amazing wide-arch snow-weapon – and decided to torch it.

Ten Things is unimpressed.

The car, admittedly already sold by Olsson, was being used on a photoshoot in the Netherlands when some gun-toting itchy-fingered crims took a liking to it. So much so, they decided to nab it.

But instead of abandoning the car when they stopped joyriding, the tea-leafs decided to set the super-wide-body RS6 ablaze.

All the hours of effort, ingenuity and hardcore hardware – including the two blingy 18-karat gold turbochargers that massaged the 4.0-litre V8 from 552bhp to a staggering 950-plus bhp – went up in smoke.

Being an optimistic and humble chap, Jon Olsson didn’t respond to the incident with hate-fuelled rage and anger, simply stating: ‘I am more motivated than ever to follow this build up with something just as good!’

We can’t wait to see what he comes up with. But until then, the epic RS6 has gone to the great graveyard in the sky. RIP.

If you’re someone who parks your Mercedes in the garage, looks around its interior and says, ‘Gosh! I wish my house looked like this,’ you’re in luck.

Having saturated and segmented the car market with every kind of niche car possible – *cough GLE 63 Coupe cough* – Merc is now channeling its inner Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, by entering the world of interior design.

Merc designers are getting started on apartments – six in London, nine in Singapore – that will basically be walk-around S-Classes. Without wheels.

Designed to bring ‘sensual surfaces, clean lines and intelligent high-tech functionality’ to the home, each apartment has Swarovski crystal (like the car’s headlights) chandeliers, a bassy Burmester surround sound system and a sculptural ‘Black Magic Wall’ inspired by the lines of Mercedes cars. That’s ‘a curvy black wall’ to the rest of us.

We’re told these exclusively appointed serviced apartments are aimed at business travellers and individuals who seek a premium home-from-home. Ashley Madison subscribers?

Ten Things eagerly awaits GM’s entrance into the home décor market. Chevrolet Flatoz, anyone?

Good news, race fans! Volvo is going tin-top racing again, with this sinister black-on-black big-winged S60.

Set to compete in the World Touring Car Championship in 2016 under the Polestar Cyan Racing banner, the entry marks the 30th anniversary of Volvo's European Touring Car Championship title in 1985.

Not since the BTCC’s bonkers breezeblock 850 Estate have we been so excited about a Swedish touring car.

Two S60 ‘TC1’ race cars will compete, armed with the full tasting menu of racing bits – big aero, safety cells and sticky tyres – plus a 400bhp four-cylinder under the bonnet.

Now, are we the only ones who think Volvo should put two fingers up to sponsorship so they can keep the cars Darth Vadar black?

Everyone learns about fire safety when growing up and the basics are pretty simple. If you’re on fire, stop, drop and roll. If your chips are on fire, grab a damp tea towel and smother them. If a fuse box is on fire, use the extinguisher that squirts foam. But DON’T use shaving foam. 

One gentleman in Kansas it seems, needs a fire safety refresher course.

Having decided to burn a bag of rubbish, the unnamed gent was slightly alarmed when the small fire turned into a big fire. Unlike most people, instead of using a fire extinguisher to tame the flames, he thought it'd be best to extinguish the blaze by driving a van full of ammunition and petrol over it. Repeatedly.

As you can imagine, this made a big fire an even bigger fire. Luckily the driver exited the scene before it all went kaboom.

Do you know what this is? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?

It’s Ronnie Pickering’s Citroen Xsara Picasso, made famous in that clip of Yorkshire road rage that set the internet alight last month.

You can pick up a decent old Picasso for £500, but at the time of writing Ronnie’s is up to, erm, £65,000. You know, like a Cayman GT4…

It’s being auctioned for charity as Pickering aims to clear his yobbish image, and he’s even signed the door he so angrily hung over the side of. As an emblem of YouTube notoriety to explain to your grandkids, there’s little to beat it.

Just don’t go bidding if you don’t intend to cough up. He might try and have you in a bare-knuckle.

A man named Reliford Cooper was arrested by Florida police on drink-driving charges last week. When eventually apprehended, Cooper blamed it on his dog.

Mr Cooper’s car was spotted running a red light, after which a Manatee County deputy tried to pull him over. Cooper drove into a ditch attempting to escape, ran into a nearby house and then tried to flee on foot.

When finally arrested, he said: “My dog was driving that car”. Cooper was later arrested and charged with DUI (driving under influence). The villainous pooch was nowhere to be found. Clearly the coppers were barking up the wrong tree.

News has reached Ten Things that none other than Leonardo DiCaprio is set to produce a film about Volkswagen’s current emissions scandal.

Yep, the Titanic star’s production company has apparently bought the rights to an as-yet-unwritten book about VW’s current woes – in which the German firm embedded software in millions of diesel cars to ‘cheat’ emissions regulations – for a future film.

At such an early stage, details are scarce to nonexistent. We don’t even know if DiCap himself will star. But in the interests of entertainment, Ten Things would like to offer some suggestions for a title.

‘The TDi-Parted’
‘The Great Gasby’
‘The A-V8-or’
‘Catch Me (and my team of engineers) If You Can’

We'll shut up now.

Batteries used by Tesla to power its cars will be used around California to power offices.

The Irvine Company announced this week that it plans to use Tesla’s battery packs to build ‘battery farms’, to help ease the power grid during peak times – for example in the height of summer, when the state’s air con units are on full-attack mode.

Tesla’s ‘Powerwall’ is a big battery stored on, um, a wall, which Irvine will use in conjunction with Advanced Microgrid during these times of ‘grid stress’. Next year, ten megawatts of batteries will be installed in Irvine, which is apparently enough to power 10,000 homes.

Buildings don’t really get range anxiety, right?

Traffic jams. Always a pain, especially when it’s a plane causing the backlog.

Yep, a pilot was forced to make an emergency landing on Idaho’s Interstate 84 a few days ago, after his engine stopped working and a problem with the fuel tank developed.

The plane was reported to have ‘belly-landed’ on the road just short of Boise Airport. Thankfully, nobody was injured, though traffic was held up for several hours.

Makes the M1 at rush hour seem like a run at Goodwood.

Before Ford's new Focus RS was even shown in Frankfurt last month, 500 people laid down deposits to buy one. Now, before anyone outside of Ford has had a chance to drive the 4WD hot hatch, a further 1,000 people have also put their money where their mouths are.

Yes, 1,500 people have now put down a deposit for the 345bhp Focus RS, ready for delivery in spring 2016.

Ford says many of the orders are from enthusiasts who have owned RS models in the past, enthusiasts it seems who are quite exacting about their cars. The most popular options, we’re told, include Recaro front seats, 19-inch black forged alloys, the ‘luxury pack’, and Ford’s SYNC2 sat-nav. Don't be alarmed though, they'll also get the rest of the car – steering wheel, brakes, engine and the rest – thrown in.

Want to know why they’re so keen? Allow Mr Ken Block to demonstrate the RS’s inherent driftiness by clicking this link here.