Exclusive: motorist enters fifth day circling car park for unobstructed parking bay

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

A motorist has spent five days driving around a car park looking for an empty, unobstructed parking bay, sources have told TopGear.com.

The driver of a sensibly-sized hatchback has been circling his local supermarket for nearly a week in an increasingly desperate bid to find a space that hasn’t been straddled by inexplicably giant SUVs or battered superminis on steel wheels or errant trolleys.

Locals now fear the man might never return to his family and have called on authorities to form a sub-committee in order to expedite his safe parking.

“Poor fella,” said an onlooker. “I saw him drive in on Monday evening and he was still there five days later just going round and round.

“If it’s not a giant SUV parked over two bays, it’s an errant shopping trolley just sitting there in the middle of the parking bay with its wheels facing opposite directions or what looks to be an empty space but is in fact one of those Smart ForTwo things.

“You thought Mad Max was a horrifying dystopia of a fallen society? Think again.

“I think he’s got a family waiting for him at home,” the onlooker added. “At the very least, they must be pretty hungry.”

Onlookers reported seeing a look of hope during the third day of the driver’s odyssey upon seeing an empty space, but it was quickly quashed when a bewinged hot hatch driver swooped in at warp speed and parked straightaway.

“We’ve secretly been making all the spaces 5cm narrower every year,” a source close to the third party that operates the car park said.

“We find unbridled joy in watching a 2026 crossover squeeze into something sized for a city car and then slapping a £100 PCN on the windscreen for trying.”