Extra bank holiday announced for coronation of Porsche 718 Cayman GT4 RS

Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

The government has announced a new bank holiday to mark the coronation of the Porsche 718 Cayman GT4 RS as the greatest thing in the known universe.

Having already approved an extra bank holiday for King Charles III’s coronation next year, Prime Minister Rishi Sunak was compelled to offer an additional national holiday following an outpouring of public support for a £113,700 two-seat sportscar and its dominion over everything that has ever happened in history.

Downing Street has yet to confirm the date but said the new bank holiday would likely fall on the anniversary of its 7m 4.511s Nürburgring lap time.

Mr Sunak noted how the holiday would be an opportunity for families and communities across the country to come together in celebration of a naturally-aspirated sportscar with a flat-six engine that’s nearly as powerful as the one in a GT3 RS.

“I look forward to seeing people come together to celebrate and pay tribute by watching endless YouTube videos of the Porsche 718 Cayman GT4 RS’s engine noise and then making oversteer gestures with their hands,” he added.

During the Porsche 718 Cayman GT4 RS’s ceremony, it will be anointed with holy oil, given a peerage and then drifted furiously for 7m 4.511s outside Buckingham Palace.