Govt confirms ‘buy one get one free’ on all new electric cars

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

The UK government has announced it intends to offer a free electric car with every new electric car in a bid to boost ailing sales.

Following a decline in the electric car sector and carmakers across the globe expressing discomfort with the incoming rules around EV targets, UK authorities have suggested a radical BOGOF initiative to attract new buyers.

“We heard you like electric cars with your electric cars, so we’re throwing in a free electric car with your new electric car,” an insider told TopGear.com.

“Look, we’ve got acres of lots brimming with all sorts of electric cars that people aren’t buying, and we need to shift them, quick.

“Yes, they might be slightly older ones. Possibly unwanted. Perhaps they’re all sitting there unsold for many valid reasons.

“But on the other hand: free! So, want a shiny new electric car? Great! You can pick up a completely free electric car from a dealership closest to you,” the insider added.

However, critics of the proposal claim the BOGOF offer fails to address any of the root causes of falling consumer confidence in the electric car sector.

“What if we threw in a giant, cuddly elephant with a squeaky belly? Or gave you some free stickers?” the insider responded.