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Usyk vs Fury rematch venue confirmed as new Skoda Superb’s boot

Heavyweight giants to ‘Simply Clobber’ each other in rematch

Published: 31 May 2024

Here’s’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

The hugely anticipated heavyweight rematch between Oleksandr Usyk and Tyson Fury will take place in the boot of the new Skoda Superb, officials have confirmed.

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Following a bruising, hugely entertaining heavyweight fight, officials were keen to put on an even bigger stage for the rematch and could find no larger venue than the back of a reasonably priced family estate built in the Czech Republic.

Skoda will apparently develop special versions of its ‘Simply Clever’ features for the bout too, including a variation on ‘misfuel protection’ that only lets Usyk and Fury into the back and an ‘easy open cup holder’ that’ll accommodate a spit bucket.

Both boxers have also expressed an interest in putting the rear ‘varioflex’ seats down so they could do a quick tidy tip run before the fight.

“The world’s greatest and most storied boxing venues put up huge offers to host this mammoth heavyweight clash,” said an official. “Wembley. The MGM Grand. Madison Square Garden. Historic, big-capacity venues.

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“But all pale in comparison to a utilitarian, rational and massively practical five-door estate car that’ll shame most warehouses for interior space.

“Plus, we’re hoping Usyk and Fury’s combined punching power is enough to get rid of the VW Group's godawful multimedia interface.”

Reports suggest the Usyk vs Fury undercard will feature a featherweight title fight held in the boot of a Seat Leon estate parked down the road that nobody will actually watch.

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