The 10 best cars to go shopping in

Find us a better method of performing definitely-not-totally-irrational stockpiling activities, and we’ll eat our last piece of tagliatelle.

The Zonda LM – essentially a road-going variant of the track-only R – packs an enormous 7.3-litre V12 punch, combined with a level of artistic and engineering integrity that’d make you weep. Which you should, if you’re stockpiling.

It’s also ludicrously ill-equipped to hold more than maybe a few days’ worth of groceries – a week at a push – because, really, THAT’S ALL YOU NEED.

Alas, young grasshopper, look not at your opponent’s strength, but rather their weakness. Where they are large, unwieldy, slow, and capable of storing enough hand sanitiser to last until rapture, you are small, nimble and sensible enough to only buy enough groceries as you would normally do because really, THAT’S ALL YOU NEED.

After a drive in the impossibly adorable Microlino – a fully electric super-tiny-city car with a footprint smaller than a Golden Retriever’s novelty trainer and enough storage capacity for a pint of milk and some bread – we parked. Next to a V12 Aventador.

A few passers-by noted how they’d rather have the Micro. “It's just less selfish", they mused.

If only there was some kind of lesson we could draw from this…

A single-seater car with a singular purpose. Sure, it’s woefully ill-prepared to hoard 120 rolls of toilet paper, but there’s certainly more than enough space to fit your own actual limbs, and the likely grin on your face after sampling its superlative, track-honed finesse.

OK, maybe you can fit in a box of cereal. But then, you’d only normally buy rational, reasonable amounts of groceries in one go, right? Because, as you well know, THAT’S ALL YOU NEED.

Though the philosophy behind this excellent little Twizy – that of storing energy to later deploy – maybe contravenes our entire argument here… we shall continue ploughing through.

Chiefly, by noting how the Twizy F1’s rear seat had to be binned in order to better package its box of tricks that allow it to achieve 97bhp. And thus, only allowing you enough room to… all together now, only buy JUST WHAT YOU NEED.

Truth be told, there’s not much we can add to the picture above and the now increasingly laboured argument that you may or may not be getting.

But there’s another, more vital point at hand: you’ll be having so much fun in this miniscule, single-cylinder 8bhp recreation, you’ll remember you don't need 984 packets of penne. Heck, you might be having so much fun, you’ll forget why you need a Big Car at all.

There can be no better humanitarian car for our times. Simply load up the Nomad’s structure with as much soap as you deem acceptable, and then drive through your local neighbourhood. You won’t even have to get out.

Because the lack of any exterior body panels means at the first sign of a corner, said soap will be distributed – perhaps at some speed – amongst your fellow human beings. Do it. Do it for mankind.

What’s that you cry? You can’t actually drive an FXXK on the road? And therefore won’t be able to hoard every single packet of long-life milk ever made by human hands for entirely unnecessary reasons? How very right you are, friend.

It is at this juncture we must inelegantly shoehorn in a well-worn motoring cliché: that of the FXXK’s V12 at full pitch sating your thirst more than said milk ever could. We’ll see ourselves out.

Honda’s recent update of its glorious little Kei car addressed some of its shortfalls, namely, storage. Which means you can now carry, say, two tins of baked beans as opposed to one. Well, you might as well indulge yourself, right?

Yeah, you probably get the point by now.