Top Gear's big super-saloon shootout: BMW M5 vs Porsche Taycan Turbo GT

One looks like a giant BMW-shaped banana. The other? Something you'd scan at the self-service checkout. So welcome to the most striking twin-test you'll see this week: the BMW M5 versus Porsche's Taycan not-a-real-turbo Turbo GT.

In this video, Messrs Rix and Marriage will dispense some very important consumer advice by challenging both cars to a series of very important tests. Tests like: drag racing! A really scary set of scales! Lap times!

We lit up a flare to signal The Stig for some advice, a bit of company and warm words of encouragement... only for him to pinch the keys and hare off around the Top Gear test track in a blaze of tyre smoke. Classic Stig.

Who's your money on - the banana or the barcode?