Epic fail: Porsche's PDK buttons

In these strange days of global political disorder, social media misinformation and the relentless rise of kombucha (who knew water could rot?), it might feel as though everything that can get worse, is getting worse.

But when such dark thoughts cloud your mind, remember this: yes, humanity may be doomed, but at least we live in a world where Porsche no longer offers its PDK gearbox with terrible rocker steering wheel buttons. Things can only get better, at least when it comes to double-clutch gearbox actuation methods.

In 2008, Porsche offered for the first time its race proven, lightning shifting PDK gearbox in a road car (specifically the 997.2-gen 911). This was good. Less good was how the driver was forced to operate it: a pair of push me pull you buttons mounted on either side of the steering wheel. Tap either button away from you, and the PDK would upshift. Tap either towards you, it’d downshift.

On the plus side, this allowed the keen helmsperson to change up and down with a single hand, and thus to chug coffee while also tackling the Nordschleife at full chat. On the minus side, everything else. The buttons didn’t just look cheap, they felt cheap, click-shifting with all the mechanical satisfaction of a service station biro. And the push/pull thing just seemed illogical. Unnatural. Wrong.

Ah, said Porsche, that’s where you’re wrong. This is scientifically the optimal shifting solution. You are the problem. You and your puny human brains. Report back to us once you have recalibrated your feeble minds.

So we stuck with the buttons. Gave them a chance. And a couple of years later, we discovered... yep, we still hated them. And Porsche said yeah, actually, your puny human brains were right. Our bad, it sucks. Kombucha brewers of the world, take note.