17 rubbish cars that scored 3/10 or less, and what we said about them

"When a test car needs the help of an AA van within the first 60 seconds, that’s not usually a great sign…. when we did eventually get it going, the drivetrain was one of the worst we’ve ever come across: it’s noisy, unrefined and slow. The ride quality is woeful, and the handling’s equally bad. There’s about as much life in the chassis as you’ll find in a sleepy village cemetery."

"The Skywell BE11 isn’t good to drive. In fact, it’s so not good to drive we’d actively encourage you away from it and into any other mode of transport, including a space hopper filled with rusty nails or a pedalo dragging a heavy anchor. Yes, even for road use."

"You won’t care about the rough, lethargic engine, the lazy gearbox, the wobbly ride, vague handling and elastic steering, because it’ll still be an improvement on your battered Daihatsu Fourtrak. But Mitsubishi’s literature promises the Shogun Sport is 'a car that delivers as well in the city as it does in the wilderness'. This, I'm afraid, is utter codswallop."

"The longer and higher you build a car, the soggier its handling becomes, so sure enough the Altea and XL aren't as agile as the Leon. But they aren't total misery either, provided you don't mind a bit of body roll."

"The steering is slow and vague. It rolls extensively. Grip levels are non-existent. Every lump and ruffle in the road is transmitted directly to your backside. It's inexcusably noisy. Hell, there's so much slack in the steering that you can't tell which way the wheels are pointing."

"The Shogun is thirstier than Ollie Read in a prohibition era sauna. If you can imagine that. Wouldn't say residuals are bad, but the Titanic depreciated less quickly on its way down."

"A perfectly able family hatchback that brought absolutely nothing new to the sector. Why, Nissan?"

"The Vitara is a more serious off-roader than rivals. The pay-off is rubbish handling: over-light, vague steering, and a tendency to get knocked about by bumps... the three-door is pretty poor - no rear seat space, a terrible ride, and it's noisy."

"A six-speed manual gearbox comes as standard and it’s best left that way, as the automatic, which has the same amount of ratios, is a fussy old thing and swaps cogs with the decisiveness of a toddler in Toys R Us."

"Truly awful, but we are grateful to Proton for reminding us of how good every other small car on sale in the UK is. We suggest you try buying one of those instead... a claimed top speed of 99mph is moot. You'd need to have nerves of steel or an unlimited supply of Mogodon to get there. And it'd help to be stone deaf."

“With around 40mpg available on a tank and group seven insurance, the Gen-2 is a fairly cheap car to run. The catch, however, is that its complete lack of desirability ensures the resale value will be a real kick in the teeth.”

“It's best to remember at this point that the Alto is a cheap, urban runabout and not a hot hatch. With that in mind, the sloppy steering, excess body roll and a tendency to crash over potholes become less of a sin.”

“Not half-bad hatch with decent Lotus-aided chassis, but lack of space inside, awful badge and ridiculous name make it a must-not-have for the youth it's aimed at.”

“A compelling argument for never learning to drive. Concerned fathers take note.”

“It costs £16.5k. A last-gen TF can be had for £4k. Do they think we're stupid?”

“It does have one advantage as a town car: it's tiny and boxy so easy to park. Which is just as well as you'll be dying to stop and get out.”

“Fantastically practical, right up until the moment that you discover you can’t get your kids into the car because they’ve all run away through fright.”